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Two-and-a-half-men
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Unrated
Quotes

Recap

Alan fears he's losing custody of his son Jake so he goes out drinking with his brother Charlie.

Show:
Season:
Episode Number:
3

Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes

Jake: Uncle Charlie hasn't met Porky yet!
Charlie: I don't suppose that's a Rubenesque nineteen-year-old girl?
Alan: Porky's his pet guinea pig.
Charlie: You're bringing vermin into my house?

I don't even know how my wife is going to be a lesbian. She hates oral sex—hates it

Alan
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