Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 18
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Alan is having financial troubles trying to pay Judith's alimony and his girlfriend Kandi's bills. Charlie tries to convince him to dump Kandi.
Alan [about Kandi]: She looks up to me. She thinks I'm special. She thinks I'm smart.
Charlie: She thinks gazpacho is Pinocchio's father
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Charlie: What are you auctioning?
Alan: Well, a few rare books, a couple of lithos, a set of golf clubs...
Charlie: Since when do you play golf?
Alan: Uh, well, technically, they're your clubs.
Charlie: You're stealing from me?!
Alan: Oh, come on, you only bought 'em so you could go to Palm Springs and pick up lesbians!
- Permalink: What are you auctioning? Well, a few rare books, a couple of l...