Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 8
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
When Chelsea's old college roommate, Gail (Tricia Helfer) breaks up with her boyfriend, Chelsea tells her she can come stay at Charlie's Malibu beach house. She's hot, so who's Charlie to complain. He ends up having fantasies about a three-way and can't trust himself around Gail when Chelsea goes to work and leaves them alone together.
Berta suggests to Charlie that he gets rid of her using the best tool he has... his brother. Charlie convinces Alan he has a chance and he goes to talk to Gail... scaring her away within minutes. Chelsea goes into Alan's room that night and reams him out, creepily turning the guy on.
The episode's title, "Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle." is what Alan is thinking in his head when he's busy drooling over Gail. The original episode title, "The Moustache Attachment," was mentioned by Berta when she thought about how she'd still do Gail if she painted on a 'stache.
Alan [about Gail]: I felt a little spark between us
Charlie: If there was a spark it's because she was warming up her taser
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Jake: Do either of you guys urinate with abnormal frequency?
Alan and Charlie: No.
Charlie: I mean, you gotta define abnormal
Alan: Keep in mind the body doesn't process alcohol efficiently, which is why your Uncle Charlie is a perpetual urine machine
Charlie: Also keep in mind your father has the bladder control of a frightened nine year old girl, which is why he needs to wear two pairs of undies and a panty liner
Alan: Only on long drives
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