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Two and a Half Men Season 9

"Oh Look! Al Qaeda?"

It's the season finale of Two and a Half Men, as Alan and Lindsey get into a major argument.

  • 4.0 / 5.0
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"The Straw In My Donut Hole"

Zoey wonders why everyone makes such a fuss when Alan leaves the hospital on the 200th episode of Two and a Half Men.

  • 3.0 / 5.0
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"Why We Gave Up Women"

Kathy Bates guest stars on Two and a Half Men this week. As Charlie?!? Yup.

  • 3.5 / 5.0
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"Mr. Hose Says Yes"

Alan moves in with Lindsey and the results aren't what he expected. Meanwhile Zoey and her daughter become Walden's housemates.

  • 4.3 / 5.0
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"Grandma's Pie"

Alan and Lyndsey react to the shocking development in their lives this week: their mothers are dating?!?

  • 3.0 / 5.0
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"Palmdale, Ech"

Jake and Elridge enlist the help of Walden this week. He drives them to a high school party.

  • 4.1 / 5.0
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"The War Against Gingivitis"

Patton Oswalt guest stars on this episode of Two and a Half Men. He plays Walden's former business partner.

  • 3.0 / 5.0
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"Not In My Mouth"

Does Lyndsey have a drinking problem? Alan ponders this question on this episode of Two and a Half Men.

  • 2.5 / 5.0
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"Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy"

It's an anger-filled Valentine's Day on Two and a Half Men, as Walden, Alan, Lyndsey and Zoey are trapped inside together.

  • 4.0 / 5.0
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"The Duchess of Dull-In Sack"

Two and a Half Men is back after a brief hiatus. This episode is titled "The Duchess of Dull-In Sack."

  • 4.0 / 5.0
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"A Possum on Chemo"

Walden changes up his look on Two and a Half Men this week. So long, homeless guy!

  • 3.6 / 5.0
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"Slowly and in a Circular Fashion"

Walden needs help from Alan on this episode of Two and a Half Men because his mother and ex-wife attempt wrestle away control of his company.

  • 3.0 / 5.0
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"One False Move, Zimbabwe!"

Alan falls for Walden's mom on this episode of Two and a Half Men, while also learning something about her new friend's past.

  • 3.2 / 5.0
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A Mexican Flight
"What a Lovely Landing Strip"

Walden tries to impress his new love interest this week. But then Bridget reappears in his life.

  • 3.5 / 5.0
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"A Fishbowl Full Of Glass Eyes"

Is Walden ready to date again? He meets a beautiful British woman on this episode of Two and a Half Men.

  • 3.0 / 5.0
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"Frodo's Headshots"

Alan ends up in a mental hospital on Two and a Half Men this week, as Gary Busey guest stars as himself.

  • 4.0 / 5.0
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"Thank You For The Intercourse"

Walden's redecorates this week. But the move sends Alan over the edge on Two and a Half Men.

  • 3.6 / 5.0
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"Those Fancy Japanese Toilets"

Jake crushes on his teacher this week, but there's a problem: she crushes on Walden.

  • 3.0 / 5.0
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"The Squat and Hover"

Walden receives divorce papers this week. He then meets a woman who resembles his ex.

  • 3.2 / 5.0
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"Giant Cat Holding Churro"

Walden tries to cheer Alan up this week. How so? By throwing him a bikini party, of course.

  • 3.0 / 5.0
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"Nine Magic Fingers"

Walden is on a mission this week. Where is Mrs. Right? She must be around somewhere!

  • 3.2 / 5.0
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"Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food"

Alan hangs out with Jake this week and realizes: his son isn't exactly so smart.

  • 3.0 / 5.0
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"People Who Love Peepholes"

It's the second half of the Two and a Half Mn season premiere event. We meet Walden's ex-wife this week.

  • 2.7 / 5.0
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"Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt"

Perhaps you've heard the news: Charlie Sheen is out and Ashton Kutcher is in. We meet the latter's character on this season premiere.

  • 2.5 / 5.0
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Show:
Season:
9
Air Dates:
to
Total Episodes:
24

Two and a Half Men Season 9 Quotes

Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.

Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.

Alan [to urn]
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