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Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode Guides

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Season 1

Season 1, Episode 24 - Air Date: 5/24/2004
"Can You Feel My Finger?"
A woman that Charlie had sex with thinks she's pregnant. After this close call, Charlie goes in to get a vasectomy.
Season 1, Episode 23 - Air Date: 5/17/2004
"Just Like Buffalo"
Charlie sweet talks Judith's divorcee support-group to continue to let Alan have weekend custody of Jake and let him stay at Charlie's.
Season 1, Episode 22 - Air Date: 5/10/2004
"My Doctor has a Cow Puppet"
Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent problem of sleep walking. Meanwhile, Jake goes to see his new therapist.
Season 1, Episode 21 - Air Date: 5/3/2004
"No Sniffing, No Wowing"
Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement when he sleeps with his beautiful attorney, Laura (guest star Heather Locklear).
Season 1, Episode 20 - Air Date: 4/19/2004
"Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark"
When Jake won't stop playing the guitar, Judith believes he's having a tough time adjusting to her and Alan's divorce. Judith wants to send Jake to a thera...
Season 1, Episode 19 - Air Date: 3/22/2004
"I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You"
Judith's sister, Liz (Teri Hatcher) is in town and hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party. Evelyn chooses alcohol over birthday cake.
Season 1, Episode 18 - Air Date: 3/1/2004
"An Old Flame With a New Wick"
Charlie is stunned to learn that his ex-girlfriend, Jill, is now a man, Bill (Chris O'Donnell) and dating his mother.
Season 1, Episode 17 - Air Date: 2/23/2004
"Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats"
Charlie is offended when Alan names their cousins as Jake's guardians in case of Alan's death.
Season 1, Episode 16 - Air Date: 2/16/2004
"That Was Saliva, Alan"
Frankie (Jenna Elfman) tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run. Meanwhile, Frankie's daughter has a crush on Jake.
Season 1, Episode 15 - Air Date: 2/9/2004
"Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick"
Despite Alan's warning, Charlie falls for a crazy, beautiful woman, Franke (guest star Jenna Elfman).
Season 1, Episode 14 - Air Date: 2/2/2004
"I Can't Afford Hyenas"
Charlie's accountant, Stan, tries to explain to him why he's suddenly in financial trouble.
Season 1, Episode 13 - Air Date: 1/12/2004
"Sara Like Puny Alan"
When Charle needs Alan for a double date with a pair of sisters, Charlie tries to desperately nurse a sick Alan back to health.
Season 1, Episode 12 - Air Date: 1/5/2004
"Camel Filters + Pheromones"
When Berta brings her beautiful daughter Prudence (guest star Megan Fox) to work, Charlie and Alan are a little distracted by her.
Season 1, Episode 11 - Air Date: 12/15/2003
"Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor"
While at the movies, Charlie and Alan run into Judith and her new boyfriend. When Jake thinks Judith is cooler, Alan tries to change his look and get back ...
Season 1, Episode 10 - Air Date: 11/24/2003
"Merry Thanksgiving"
In an attempt to prove he's a family man, Charlie invites his latest girl, Lisa, over and hosts a Thanksgiving dinner.
Season 1, Episode 9 - Air Date: 11/17/2003
"Phase One, Complete"
Charlie wants to dump the latest girl he's been sleeping with, but Jake has grown close to her. Alan and Rose bond over a game of Scrabble.
Season 1, Episode 8 - Air Date: 11/10/2003
"Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful"
Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith as they lead Jake and his classmates in school's annual music show.
Season 1, Episode 7 - Air Date: 11/3/2003
"If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake"
Judith gets worried when Jake begins drawing sketches of a naked female friend of Charlie's that has been wandering around the house half naked.
Season 1, Episode 6 - Air Date: 10/27/2003
"Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?"
Charlie and his mother, Evelyn, end up dating two people that are related.
Season 1, Episode 5 - Air Date: 10/20/2003
"The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump"
Jake's soccer league leads to Alan and Charlie meeting some very sexy soccer moms.
Season 1, Episode 4 - Air Date: 10/13/2003
"If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap"
Alan is having troubles with Charlie's sarcastic maid, Berta. Charlie is trying to get Jake and Rose to listen to him.
Season 1, Episode 3 - Air Date: 10/6/2003
"Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell"
Alan fears he's losing custody of his son Jake so he goes out drinking with his brother Charlie.
Season 1, Episode 2 - Air Date: 9/29/2003
"Big Flappy Bastards"
Charlie tries to learn how to be a parent with his nephew Jake around, while Alan tries to win back his ex-wife, Judith.
Season 1, Episode 1 - Air Date: 9/22/2003
"Pilot"
Charlie's life is turned upside down when his brother, Alan, and nephew, Jake, move in with him into his Malibu Beach house.

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Previous Episode

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
"Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle."
Mon, November 16

Quotes

Charlie: I gotta figure out a way to get Gail to leave on her own.
Berta: You got the perfect tool for the job.
Charlie: What are you talking about?
Berta: The one tool that's guaranteed to drive any woman out of the house.
Alan [entering the room]: Hello.
Berta: Oh look, it's an Alan wrench.
More Quotes »

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