Doctor: Now, let me ask you a question. Do you have children already? Charlie: No. Doctor: Okay, then you might want to consider freezing some sperm, just in case you change your mind. Charlie: Frozen sperm? I don't know. Doctor: Why not? Charlie: Well, you know, when you freeze shrimp, it's never as good as fresh. Doctor: That's really not the same thing. Charlie: So you know for a fact that frozen kids are just as good as the regulars?
Charlie: Okay, let me try this again. A vasectomy is a very simple procedure. Jake: Are you sick?? Charlie: No, no, no, I'm perfectly healthy. It's just a procedure so that I don't have babies by accident. Jake: Oh, yeah, like we had to do with Scout. Charlie: Scout? Alan: The dog we had. Couldn't keep it in his fur! Keep going, you're doing great. Charlie: Jake, it's not exactly the same with people as it is with dogs. Jake: I know... Why don't you just wear a condom?