11 Shows That Need an Orphan Black Clone

You know who’s really good at getting away with murder? Alison Hendrix. Her husband accidentally shot a man in the face, and rather than have a nervous breakdown, she jackhammered through the concrete in her garage to bury the body – and then had crazy sex in said garage to celebrate.

Alison would bring a healthy dose of competency to How To Get Away With Murder, a show where everyone is constantly on the verge of blowing everyone’s cover. (Though, watching Annalise pound vodka might tip her off her own wagon and back into rehab.) Watching prim and proper Alison go toe to toe with the equally snooty Michaela would be deliciously good drama.

Cosima has spent so much time studying the bizarre science surrounding her own cloning – and the sickness she suffers from because of it – that the alien-infused science S.H.I.E.L.D. deals with would be just another day at the office to her.

Her passion for knowledge and her nerdy personality would vibe well with Fitz and Simmons. And if she was willing to share some of her weed, it would probably do both of their frantic, hyperactive personalities a great deal of good.

Now that Donald Trump has decided he should run the country instead of his business empire, he is stepping down from the reality show that made “You’re fired!” a pop cultural touchstone. He’s being replaced by former Governor of California, and Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

But we all know that the best choice for the job would be cold as ice career clone Rachel Duncan. Her level, posh tones would be ten times more menacing than those Trump or the Terminator, and her cyber eye would make prospective entrepreneurs quake in their loafers.

Another show that could benefit from some competency. The GCPD is one of the worst police departments ever to grace the small screen. The precinct has allowed criminals to walk in with ease on multiple occasions, whether it was the attack led by a baby-faced version of the Joker or crazy Barbara Kean luring the hapless Jim Gordon away to what was supposed to be his doom.

Beth is paranoid, and a bit crazy herself, but she is an excellent, inquisitive detective--especially when compared to the GCPD. Import her and her loyal partner Art into Gotham and they would clean that squalid city up.

Helena knows a thing or two about how to kill efficiently and without mercy. She also knows a thing or two about weird cults, gangs and just flat-out evil people – all of which The Walking Dead seems to have in abundance. Let’s be real: If Helena had been around, there is no way the Governor would have terrorized people for as long as he did.

And you know Helena would have a healthy appreciation for Michonne’s clever use of jawless pet walkers to keep others away – not to mention her skills with a samurai sword. These tough, somewhat damaged women are basically kismet seestras.

Between her curve-hugging wardrobe and her klassy name, Krystal would fit in well with the Kardashians. After dealing with the nefarious plots of Dyad and Brightborn, the paparazzi would seem like a lesser evil – after all, they only want photographs, not DNA samples.

Krystal’s earnestness and naivety would be a nice counterpoint to calculated Kris, and her lovable personality ensures that she would instantly be the most likeable character on the show. Not only that, her skills as a beautician would definitely be more appreciated by this image-conscious family than they are on Orphan Black.

Sarah’s willingness to do anything to protect her family – from foster brother Felix, to daughter Kira, to her sisterhood of clones – is a trait she shares with tough-as-rhinestone-studded-nails Cookie Lyon, the matriarch of the melodramatic musical family at the center of Empire.

These two women are supremely street smart and take B.S. from no one. Both have been absent from their children’s lives at certain points and find themselves struggling to make up for the time that they missed, unable to fully convey to their sometimes bitter kids that everything they have ever done – even the really bad stuff – has been to protect them. Who wouldn’t want to see these flawed but utterly fantastic ladies team up to take down Lucious Lyon?

Season two of Wayward Pines has suffered a bit with the departure of season one star Matt Dillon; the show needs another steely-eyed seeker of truth to continue digging up the dirt on this bizarre little town. Highly suspicious of everyone and impossible to shake from an investigation, MK would be an ideal choice.

Her skills with computers would be useful in uncovering the secrets that remain hidden away – not to mention ensuring that the electric fence and other security tech remain up and running, keeping the town safe from the monstrous Abbies wandering the world outside.

Transgender clone Tony made a one-off appearance in season two that didn’t serve much more of a purpose than to stretch Tatiana Maslany’s considerable skills as an actress to their limit. One wonders if we’ll ever see him again, and if we do, whether he’ll have a bigger role that more prominently affects the plot of the show.

Until then, I wouldn’t mind seeing Tony on a show like Marvel’s Jessica Jones. That show’s talented writers have deftly handled sensitive topics before; one imagines they could tell the story of Tony’s transition while also giving him more to do than just be a token. His criminal record might make him a good source of insider advice for P.I. Jessica Jones, and goodness knows she could use a few more trustworthy people in her corner, especially now that Luke Cage has gone off to his own show.

Look, I just really want more Katja. We got a badass, punk rock German clone and they took her away from us after one scene? Give Katja her own show. Or at least put her on the new version of Top Gear alongside fellow badass German woman, racecar driver Sabine Schmitz.

Top Gear has a history of being too much of a boys’ club for its own good; some gender equality among hosts could go a long way towards adjusting that balance. Even better: Katja as the new Stig, anyone?

Nadia’s smart, snarky sense of humor would have fit in well among the quirky residents of Pawnee, Indiana. She might have even been a good romantic fit for a similarly sassy character like Tom Haverford if she wasn’t destined to depart to Rwanda with Doctors Without Borders...wait, did this actually happen? Never mind.