Archer Quotes from "Archer Vice: House Call"
Click through the best Archer quotes from this Season 5 episode now. These lines crack us up!
Cheryl: Nah, Cheryl's gone. I'm Cherlene now. And if somebody don't fry me 6 goddamn eggs and some Carolina fries I would personally be shocked, SHOCKED I tell ya, if by morning this place ain't burned to the ground.
I'll be watching you like a hawk. That's been bred with an eagle...to produce some kind of eagle-eyed superhawk...with a badge.Hawley
Hawley: What do you people think the letters FBI stands for?
Archer: I bought a T-Shirt once that said "Female Body Inspector.
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So if I were you, I'd run out that door while I still had a chance. I'd also waste 5 precious minutes of my head start in the race to freedom, giving that swell guy Archer a combination thank-you-goodbye blow job.
Cyril: How do you not know the different kinds of porn?
Archer: Because I have sex with actual women, Cyril! My girlfriend's not equal parts the internet, a tube of Kentucky jelly, self-loathing and a sock!
Malory: Who uses Metric?
Lana: Every single country on the planet except for us, Liberia and Burma!
Archer: Really - cause you never think of those two as having their shit together.
Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?
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Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?
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