Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes from "Tactical Village"

at .

Relive the best Brooklyn Nine-Nine quotes from "Tactical Village" now.

1. Entering Sprinkle City!

Diaz in training

Gina: So stop playing.
Holt: But...I'm just about to enter Sprinkle City.

Gina: So stop playing. Holt: But...I'm just about to enter Sprinkle City.

2. Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.

Diaz in training

Jake: It's the most fun day of the year, something you wouldn't understand because you're not programmed to feel joy.
Holt: Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.

Jake: It's the most fun day of the year, something you wouldn't understand because you're not programmed to feel joy. Holt: Yes, but my...

3. "Cwazy" with a W, a backwards W.

Diaz in training

"Cwazy" with a W, a backwards W.

Gina
"Cwazy" with a W, a backwards W.

4. I have a sexy voice! Champagne. Mountain Range. Hugs.

Diaz in training

I have a sexy voice! Champagne. Mountain Range. Hugs.

Jake
I have a sexy voice! Champagne. Mountain Range. Hugs.

5. Hey! Luke didn't know! No one knew!

Diaz in training

Jake: How many times do I have to say it, she's like a sister.
Boyle: That's what Luke said about Leia!
Jake: Hey! Luke didn't know! No one knew!

Jake: How many times do I have to say it, she's like a sister. Boyle: That's what Luke said about Leia! Jake: Hey! Luke didn't know! No...

6. Real stuff, like the shape of his ass

Diaz in training

Rosa: Right, that's the guy you said the lame stuff about, like he's a good listener.
Amy: Sorry, what do you look for in a guy?
Rosa: Real stuff, like the shape of his ass

Rosa: Right, that's the guy you said the lame stuff about, like he's a good listener. Amy: Sorry, what do you look for in a guy? Rosa:...

7. The Amy Santiago story.

Diaz in training

Jake: I'm gonna make a great dad.
Amy: Not even gonna touch that.
Jake: The Amy Santiago story.

Jake: I'm gonna make a great dad. Amy: Not even gonna touch that. Jake: The Amy Santiago story.

8. When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.

Diaz in training

When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.

Jake
When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.

9. That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have 77 arguments that I'm gonna win that way.

Diaz in training

That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have 77 arguments that I'm gonna win that way.

Rosa
That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have 77 arguments that I'm gonna win that way.

10. Nope. I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.

Diaz in training

Terry: Talk to him, that's what friends do!
Rosa: Nope. I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.

Terry: Talk to him, that's what friends do! Rosa: Nope. I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die...

11. Come on, man.

Diaz in training

Terry: Scully, I want you to do nothing. Just stand next to me and say, "Yes, Sarge."
Scully: Okay, Sarge.
Terry: Come on, man.

Terry: Scully, I want you to do nothing. Just stand next to me and say, "Yes, Sarge." Scully: Okay, Sarge. Terry: Come on, man.

12. Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time, but then I'm like, "boobs, farts,...

Diaz in training

Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time, but then I'm like, "boobs, farts, boobs, whatever."

Jake
Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time, but then I'm like, "boobs, farts, boobs, whatever."

13. Because he actually asked her out.

Diaz in training

Boyle: You wanna know why she went out with him and not you?
Jake: Yeah.
Boyle: Because he actually asked her out.

Boyle: You wanna know why she went out with him and not you? Jake: Yeah. Boyle: Because he actually asked her out.

14. I think I figured out my persona for this year's Tactical Village. Introducing "Rex...

Diaz in training

I think I figured out my persona for this year's Tactical Village. Introducing "Rex Buckingham", British secret agent, ballistics expert, ladies man.

Jake
I think I figured out my persona for this year's Tactical Village. Introducing "Rex Buckingham", British secret agent, ballistics expert,...

15. I am playing a character - a no-nonsense detective whose only goal is to set this course...

Diaz in training

I am playing a character - a no-nonsense detective whose only goal is to set this course record. His name is Vic Kovack, he's an ex-Navy Seal who was double crossed and left for dead...I don't have time to go into his backstory!

Jake
I am playing a character - a no-nonsense detective whose only goal is to set this course record. His name is Vic Kovack, he's an ex-Navy...

16. Well I do, but it hurts my stomach, so I haven't had milk, a beverage I love, for 19 years....

Diaz in training

Holt: Do you know I love milk?
Gina: Uh, no.
Holt: Well I do, but it hurts my stomach, so I haven't had milk, a beverage I love, for 19 years. Nineteen MILKLESS years I've gone, but for some reason I can't...quit...cwazy cupcakes

Holt: Do you know I love milk? Gina: Uh, no. Holt: Well I do, but it hurts my stomach, so I haven't had milk, a beverage I love, for 19...

Wait! There's more! Just click "Next" below:

Next
Show Comments
Show:
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Related Photos:
Brooklyn Nine-Nine Slideshows
Created by:
Published:

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

“The Squad” is the best book I ever read, and I’ve read 15 books.

Peralta

Don’t worry; I know what I’m doing. I saw the first 15 minutes of The Hurt Locker.

Peralta