Quotables for Week Ending April 2, 2016
Carissa Pavlica
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Elementary wins the quote of the week. Anytime I can laugh out loud at a quote from a show I don't watch, it's a win.
That's what we aim to do here, get you to want to tune in. I'm going to watch that episode of Elementary.
Scroll through this slideshow and see what you might want to tune into that you've never seen before!
1. Elementary
Perhaps it entered your mind subconsciously. Were your dreams filled with two flounders slapping together? A ketchup bottle being squeezed repeatedly whilst a nearby walrus issues a death rattle?
Sherlock [to Joan, on the neighbor's noisy sex]
2. Shades of Blue
You watched your son repeatedly break my face and didn’t lift a finger to help. Why would I think it would be any different for Cristina?
Harlee
3. The Walking Dead
Maggie has us on a schedule, and I'm not pissing off a pregnant lady.
Michonne
4. Vinyl
Zak: I'd trust my wife naked in bed with Burt Reynolds before I'd trust you alone with 200 grand in cash!
Richie: I vaguely see your point!
5. Quantico
You look like you are trying to do long division in your head.
Iris
6. Shameless
You have no money yet you're going into a grocery store. Interesting.
Frank
7. Madam Secretary
Elizabeth: The President actually said that?
Russell: Of course not, but I speak for him.
8. Girls
Marnie: You're playing aggressive guitar at me.
Desi: There's nothing aggressive about that, it's a ballad.
9. The Good Wife
Peter: I should kick your ass.
Jason: You could try. And then what?
10. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Greg: This isn't gonna be like a roll in the hay and then you go home. This is gonna be three days of you and me ruining each other, and not emotionally. Is that what you want?
Rebecca: When do we start?
11. Gotham
Penguin: To be fair, I never raped anybody.
Grace: Oh, well, that's a mercy, isn't it?
Elijah: My son told me about his past. He just didn't tell me how famous he was. You're too modest, son.
12. Supergirl
All four of you standing there doing nothing, you look like the attractive yet non-threatening racially diverse cast of a CW show.
Cat
13. Bates Motel
Orderly: Norman, they're waiting for you in group.
Norman: Yes, well, I'm not going.
Orderly: Well, you're scheduled to be there. If you're not going, I'm going to have to confine you back to your room.
Norman: OK, Jacob, you obviously didn't get the memo because I am being released today. You can go ask Dr. Edwards.
Orderly: OK [lays hands on Norman].
Norman [pushes him away]: OK! Thank you! Well done! Bad idea! You have obviously no IDEA what's going on in this place! I'm. Being. Released. TODAY.
14. Scorpion
Walter: She's not mine to let go because we're friends. We're coworkers.
Toby: That's right. That's my mistake. I keep forgetting because of the way you look, feel, and talk about her.
15. The Magicians
I'm in too. I heard the word illegal.
Eliot
16. Blindspot
Jane: So this dog can really smell bombs?
Reade: Well if it can't, it's a pretty terrible bomb smelling dog.
17. Jane the Virgin
Petra: After everything Jane's done, starting with having Mateo in the first place after your sister knocked her up, and you can't tolerate a small commute to let her live in her dream house? Get over yourself, Rafael, and find a way to make it work!
Narrator: And so, just as Jesus rose Lazarus from the dead, Petra Solano went to the mat for Jane Villaneuva on this day in the year of our Lord, 2016.
18. Lucifer
I'm stuck in a place I don't belong, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I need to figure out how to be more normal.
Maze
19. iZombie
Are you frickin' kidding me? Is this chick crying because her granny is finding out she is stripper? You're being questioned in a murder case because you are suspect.
Liv
20. Chicago Fire
Herrmann: You know what they call the guy who comes in second place? Loser.
Casey: I can always count on you for a pep talk, Herrmann.
21. Stitchers
Wow! Now you don't have to get off your fat ass to boil water.
Camille
22. New Girl
Jess: Nick, are you eating raisins from my purse? I confiscated those from a kid.
Nick: That explains why they're so sticky. Sticky Nicky eats anything and I don't get sick.
23. Chicago Med
Maggie: I was doing my job.
Sharon: You handled the situation exactly as I would have. That blood draw would have left the hospital open for litigation.
Maggie: Yeah, yeah. Next time I have to fill out a credit application, that's what I'll tell them when they ask me, "Have you ever been arrested?"
24. Agents of SHIELD
Thank you Nerd Herd, I'm going to go call Coulson.
Daisy
25. Shadowhunters
Alec: Who invited the vampire?
Simon: Seriously?
26. Awkward
At these prices, I can see why someone would turn to prostitution for a drink.
Luke
27. Rosewood
Erica: I know we're going to sleep together.
Rosewood: Is that right?
Erica: Yep and I'm going to enjoy the wait.
28. Empire
Cookie: You really gonna pick this bitch over your whole family, Hakeem?
Hakeem: At least she don't beat me with a purse.
Camilla: Not unless you want me to.
29. Arrow
It looks like we have ourselves a taller, more dude-like version of Felicity.
Diggle
30. Law & Order: SVU
I think if they get 20 years, they're getting off too easy. But when you sit down with them, play dominoes, you wonder, are they the same guy 20 years later they were when they went in?
Carisi
31. Chicago PD
Voight: Did you know Ruby was pregnant? Seven weeks?
Stommer: Well she is a prostitute. I imagine that's an occupational hazard.
32. Nashville
Look, honey, you're a survivor, and you have made beautiful music out of such an unfortunate circumstance.
Rayna
33. Ciminal Minds
Prentiss: Yo baby girl. Watch you think you're doing in my office? You know better than to mess with my stuff. I don't mess with your stuff.
Garcia: You're here...here...here with me? I didn't think you were going to be here. I thought you were going to go right home.
34. The Big Bang Theory
Oh, they went to the store to get solder. Which is metal you melt to make science things.
Penny
35. Legends of Tomorrow
I used to think the most beautiful thing on earth was fire. Now I know, it's vengeance.
Mick
36. Vikings
This is how you repay me? When everyone wanted you dead, I kept you alive. You hurt me, brother.
Ragnar
