Just how realistic is Gossip Girl? More so than ever this week, says New York Magazine in its patented (nonsensical) rating system, which takes into account the most real and surreal moments from each episode.
According to the show's unofficial publication, this week's episode, "Much I Do About Nothing," rated +28 on the realism scale! Below are excerpts from this New York Magazine feature.
- Why is Nate so obviously wearing makeup and gobs of hair goo while jogging in the park with his dad? Minus 2.
- Plus 2 for Dan finally making fun of Nate's "man bangs, and Blair letting slip that Chuck wears his scarf during sex.
- Serena does that annoying TV thing where she doesn't bother to clear up the fact that in the last episode, she told Dan she cheated on him with the two guys she left the bar with. Oops! Minus 2.
- Those orchid centerpieces are lovely. Plus 2.
- Rufus uses the phrase "AN historic moment." Minus 2.
- YESSSSS RUFUS AND LILY YESSSSSSS! Plus 10.
- "So I think we should be together forever," Georgina says to Dan, grabbing his hand. Okay, Georgina may be psycho, but she's smart enough to know what is psycho. Minus 2.
- Plus 4 for the fact that everyone at the end ends up with a completely different person: Serena with Nate, Dan with Vanessa, Blair and Random Guy, Chuck and Lydia Hearst.
- There are too many things we don't see in this episode. Like, um, the actual wedding? Nate and Vanessa breaking up? Come on, this is why it should have been a two-hour season finale. Not because, um, we are freaking the fuck out that we won't be able to see the show for an entire summer. Minus 3.
- Plus 1 for "At least I lasted longer than Lohan!"