How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Quotes

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We've compiled a collection of the most complete How I Met Your Mother season one quotes for your enjoyment.  A lot happened to our favorite group of friends during the first season and there's no funnier way to relive it than through the quotes.  Here's some of our favorites:

Ted: Look, this woman could actually be my future wife. I want our first kiss to be amazing.
Lily: Aw Ted, that is so sweet. So you chickened out like a little bitch? | permalink
Barney: It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is...dairy! | permalink
Robin: You are gonna love Kelly, she's fun, she's smart, she lives in the moment..
Barney: Translation: She's ugly, she's ugly, she ugs in the ugly.
Robin: Oh, and she's totally hot! | permalink
Robin: Am I just wired wrong?
Ted: No. You dumped me, so obviously you have abysmal taste in men | permalink
How I Met Your Mother Cast Image
Marshall: I stabbed Lily, I stabbed my fiancee.
Ted: Come on Marshall, do you really think she's still your fiancee? | permalink
Barney: We couldn't go back for Natalya, a human being, but we do have time for hot dogs?
Marshall: Yeah, we like hot dogs | permalink
[Barney is stripping down...]
Robin: What the hell are you doing?
Barney: I'm birthday suiting up! | permalink
Lily: So if those guys pressure you to smoke, what do you say?
Marshall: Only when I'm drunk.
Lily: Good boy | permalink

Now go suit up and read the rest of our How I Met Your Mother quotes and vote for your favorites!

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.


You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.