The Office Quotes & Recap: "Stress Relief"

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Given the chance to lure in 20 million extra viewers after the Super Bowl, it's no surprise that The Office went slapstick for the first five minutes last night, with Dwight simulating a fire and sparking mass hysteria at Dunder-Mifflin. And it was nothing short of hilarious.

A series of ups and downs followed, and this overhyped Office event may have dragged on a bit too long. But overall, a disgruntled Stanley stole the show and the branch's roast of Michael Scott helped make for probably the best episode of Season Five so far.

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The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.