Below are some of the highlights from New York Magazine's review of last night's Gossip Girl, with the best (and worst) moments assigned scores via its "reality index" ...

• Nate Archibald's cousin is called Tripp, and he was wearing a yellow sweater with elbow pads. Plus 5.

• Why does everyone clap when Nate and his grandfather embrace at the reunion? Minus 2; real-life WASPS would pretend not to notice. Maybe they would titter and rattle the ice in their lowball glasses. Maybe.

• We knew before that Lily has slept with Trent Reznor, but now we find out that she also did it with Slash! Plus 10, for the writers finally putting her groupie years closer to the eighties where they belong.

• Interning for City Hall in high school is not "an amazing opportunity." It's a chance to fetch Mayor Bloomberg Swedish Fish from the vending machine. Minus 3.

• Blair Waldorf realizes she was headed straight for a "quarter-life crisis at 18." So true. And so like a hysterical overachieving high-schooler to realize that during the college applications process. Plus 2.

• Wait, Chuck had Carter Baizen expelled from the secret gentleman's club? How? We desperately want that nonsensical and annoying plotline to get brushed aside, but that sort of felt like a rip-off. Minus 2.

• Of course Dorota would cover for Nate and Blair, because she knows all too well Chuck is a bad influence and could bring out "bad Blair" again. Plus 4.

• Why is there no one named van der Woodsen on Lily's list? WHO IS SERENA AND ERIC'S FATHER? Minus 2. Also, wait, where is Eric?

• Dorota yells at Chuck in Polish after he tries to bribe her. We read on Gossip Girl Insider that what she said was "‘Are you crazy, you brat? I work for Miss Blair, not for you, what do you think you can buy me?’ Plus 4.

Plus 1,000 for the Gossip Girl Insider shout-out, New York Magazine!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.