30 Rock Quotes: The Best of Season Three

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The 22-episode third season of NBC's 30 Rock may go down as the quirky comedy's funniest yet, despite too many guest stars and pacing that was a bit fast at times.

There is still nothing like it.

Below are some of our favorite lines from this season. Be sure to check out our library of 30 Rock quotes for the best quotes from EVERY episode of the show to date!

Elizabeth Lemon
Tracy: [giving commencement address] Just be yourself, and I promise that every single person in this room will be President of the United States! | permalink
Tracy: My love child tracked me down. I was scared, shocked, angry. Like a dog in a sidecar when it comes loose from the motorcycle. | permalink
Tracy: Liz Lemon, I may hug people too hard and get lost at malls, but I'm not an idiot. | permalink
Kenneth: Science was my most favorite subject, especially the Old Testament. | permalink
Jack: I haven't seen this many riled up dirtbags since CVS started to put the cold medicine behind the counter. | permalink
Jack: Somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody's perfect. | permalink
Frank: Has anyone looked at this sexual harassment stuff they gave us?
Tracy: I don't need to read it; the whole thing is loosely based on an evening I had with Isiah Thomas. | permalink
Jenna: You know how you told Tracy not to go into your bedroom? Well, naturally, we assumed you were a serial killer, and as you can imagine, your bird is dead. | permalink
Jack: The days of your wild coke parties are over.
Liz: Well, if by coke you mean soda.
Jack: I do. | permalink
Jack: I'm aware of it. I have a Google news alert for the phrase 'Tracy Jordan ridiculous disaster. | permalink
Dennis: Former sexual partner, I'm sorry my disease made you a victim of my sexual charisma. I'm sorry I ruined you for other men. | permalink
Dr. Leo Spaceman: My sleep study is funded by the U.S. military and the WNBA. | permalink
Don Geiss: [on video] If you're watching this, you are an executive of the General Electric Corporation, and the unthinkable has happened. Capitalism is ending, either because of the Soviets or something ridiculous, like a woman President. I'm speaking to you from the year 1987, but the message is timeless: Avoid The Noid! | permalink
Larry King: If you've just joined us, we're with Tracy Jordan, who is giving guitar icon Peter Frampton enigmatic clues about a secret treasure. Stay with us. | permalink
Jack: I may have sodomized our former vice president while under the influence of some weapons grade narcotics. Oh, it feels good to say that one out loud actually. That one was weighing on me. | permalink
Kenneth: There's a whole channel on the cable that just tells you what's on the other channels!
Jack: I know, Kenneth. It's okay. | permalink
Kenneth: [on coffee] I love how it makes me feel. It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain! | permalink
Liz: Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi. | permalink

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


30 Rock Quotes

Jenna: Jack, can we talk, one ten to another?
Jack: I'm an eleven, but continue.

Tracy: I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.