Below, New York Magazine offers its unique blend of humorous, insightful, completely random thoughts on last night's Gossip Girl, "Valley Girls," with points assigned.

Check out some excerpts, then comment and add your own ...

Stewing in prison, Serena had some time to come up with one-liners, and her anger at Lily led to the worst insult ever: "I would rather put my kids up for adoption than end up like you." Beat. "Oh, wait, you did that." Iced. Plus 3.

If Serena indeed were somehow able to simply hang out in jail for as long as she wanted, we highly doubt they would in turn make it comfortable enough for her to be so jolly whenever she's on the phone. Minus 2.

The actress who played younger CeCe grew on us. She really had the voice and look down, and they all had clearly practiced similar mannerisms. Plus 4.

The lengthy exposition about Carol is beyond fake and terrible. Lily and CeCe know who she is. Why do they keep explaining it to one another? Minus 5.

Carol's boyfriend: "To the Impala!" Lily: "The what?" Plus 2.

Serena didn't know she was going to be arrested before today. So she clearly would have had a prom dress already. Minus only 2, because at least Lil J's creation managed to do the near impossible - tame Serena's boobs.

Matt Barr plays Keith van der Woodsen, whose appearance made us gasp and kick up our feet like a cartoon rooster. Plus 4 for him being a hot, blond dick.

Nate wouldn't be perceptive enough to figure out Chuck was up to something re: prom. Did getting into Columbia make him get smarter? Minus 2.

At least the bad dancing at prom, despite the cheesy music, is real. No matter how fancy you get, horny teens just want to hug and waddle. Plus 2.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.