Gossip Girl Tuesday Reality Index

at . Comments

It's time for one of our favorite weekly pieces of Gossip Girl media coverage - New York Magazine's plus-minus reality index of the previous night's episode.

We've posted our official episode guide to "The Freshmen." Now here are some highlights from NY Mag's arbitrary, funny and nonsensically unique analysis:

  • Lily isn't there to take Serena to her first day of college. Plus 3.
  • Why did Rufus wake up at Lily's house and Dan at Rufus'? Minus 3.
  • Plus 2 for Blair’s retort that Chuck should really stick to doling out life lessons he knows, such as “Never drink absinthe with Daniel Baldwin.”
  • Nate and Bree flip each other over during romantic pillow talk at least once, maybe two times ... either way, over the believable limit. Minus 2.
Business Meeting

  • Chuck refers to his apartment as “The Bass Cave.” Finally, he says something teenage. Phew. With all the business meetings and his Gordon Gecko look, we worried he was becoming an adult. Plus 1.
  • Dan: "Everything I learned about women I learned from Judy Blume's Forever." Plus 2. Plus 2 more for his nerd gallery howling with laughter.
  • Carter Baizen is always just roaming around random parts of the city. The Village, Nolita, Park Avenue, etc. Does he do anything? Minus 1.
  • When Good Serena is required to lie, she pauses and gets distracted-seeming, like her mind is broken. This makes sense. Lying is hard. Plus 3.
  • Not to be macabre, but NYU students are not allowed on roofs. Especially not to, you know, have a big underage drinking party. Enough kids wind up jumping off those places when they're sober, okay? Minus 5.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

[to Jenny] That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, you're my Queen. I choose you.