They didn't break me. I am broken.

Did House viewers ever expect those words to come out of the mouth of the show's main character?

Moreover, could any fan of this Fox series have expected more from a season premiere than last night's incredible two-hour installment? It played like a movie, as no other show on television could have pulled off such a feat.

Featuring only one main character, in an entirely new setting, "Broken" showcased Hugh Laurie at his best. It's hard to do it justice with an episode recap, but we tried. Follow the preceding link for a complete rundown.

Among the many tremendous House quotes from last night, a few of our favorites:

Dr. Nolan: Why do you value your failures more than your successes?
House: My mother caught me masturbating... to pictures of her mother.
Dr. Nolan: Can we get past these cute deflections? | permalink

Dr. Nolan: You having fun?
House: I did connect with one guy. But the my propensity for screwing things up overtook me. Then my desire to have fun overcame my propensity. | permalink

House: I see you've got some cello in your trunk. And no, that's not a euphemism. | permalink

House: I'm sick of being miserable. | permalink

Matt Richenthal is the Editor in Chief of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter and on Google+.