The Office Quotes: "Gossip"

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When you work in an office, there's going to be gossip. But you've never seen workplace "Gossip" quite like The Office presented it in its Season 6 premiere Thursday night.

Always desperate to be in the know, Michael Scott spread a rumor about a colleague that he later regretted, and tried to cover up by spreading more untrue rumors.

Makes perfect sense, right? It's Michael Scott, people.

Who among the Dunder-Mifflin ranks is having an affair? What employee is questioning his or her sexuality? Our recap of "Gossip" attempts to answer that and more.

Jim and Pam Picture

Check out our complete library of The Office quotes from this and every episode in the show's history. Some of our favorite lines from last night's "Gossip" included:

Michael: How do you untell something? You can't. You can't put words back in your mouth. What you can do, is spread false gossip... so people think that everything that's been said is untrue. | permalink
Pam: This is the last day of our summer interns. It's been nice. We haven't had interns in a while. Ever since Michael's Monica Lewinsky incident. He didn't do anything sexual, he just made too many Monica Lewinsky jokes. | permalink
Michael: Did you pee on a stick?
Jim: I did. It was inconclusive. | permalink
Michael: [on ultrasound pic] Oh my god! Pam! Look at that! That is the inside of your vagina! | permalink
Jim: You gotta figure this out.
Andy: How?
Jim: Have sex with a woman.
Andy: Yeah!
Jim: Then a man. Then compare. | permalink
Erin: Kelly has an eating disorder?
Michael: Yes.
Erin: She always eats my lunch.
Michael: Anorexia. She's an anorexitic.
Erin: We should do something.
Michael: Nothing can be done. We just have to tell everybody and hope for the best I guess. | permalink
Michael: The one true rumor ... and this is going to ruin this person's life, is that-
Jim: Pam's pregnant!
Kevin: I knew it! At first, I thought, 'Oh, Pam's breasts are a little bit bigger. She must have gotten a new bra with padding.' But then I thought, 'Pam doesn't NEED padding.' It just didn't add up, Jim.
Jim: Okay. Thank you.
Dwight: Who's the father?
Pam: Jim.
Creed: Who's the OB-GYN? | permalink

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The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael