Accidentally on Purpose Quotes: "The Love Guru"

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On last night's Accidentally on Purpose, poor pregnant Billie was trying to live vicariously through Davis' dating life.  She ended up helping the guy score with a hot chick, but proved it was impossible to make Davis relationship eligible.

Davis Being Smooth

Meanwhile, Zack tried to go behind Billie's back and date a girl, Sasha, who ended up being full on crazy.  Crazy pants decided to then stalk Billie and declare them best friends.

Good news is all this crazy led to some great Accidentally on Purpose quotes!  Just check out some of our favorites from last night:

Abby: I have some amazing, unbelievable news that is going to blow you away.
Billie: Oh my God! Are you...?!
Abby: Yes! I'm Facebook friends with Olivia! | permalink
Davis: What's the next move with this girl?
Billie: Well, that depends. I mean, do we want to have a relationship with her or we're just looking to introduce our genitals to each other?
Davis: Ah, I've done the whole just-get-laid-casual-sex-never-see-each-other-again thing, so what I'm ready for now... is more of that | permalink
Davis: This chick is really out of my league. I mean, she's the kind that only sleeps with guys who have doors on their bathrooms... You know, fancy guys | permalink
Davis [about Billie]: I thought the two of you were cool with dating other people?
Zack: Yeah, but who's going to date her? She's got stuff popping out all over the place. You know, and I want to be a good guy about this, so I'm just going to do it behind her back.
Davis: You're a class act, Zack | permalink
Abby: Listen, I know that you think the only reason we're friends is because of Billie but that...
Olivia: That is not true! I don't think we're friends | permalink
Andrea: I'm just not interested in anything more than a physical relationship with you.
Davis: Why?! I mean, what is it about me? Is-- is it because I live in a dump? Or because I have no money... or any desire to make money? Because I have no goals or dreams... or desire to have any goals or dreams? | permalink
Zack: Uh, Sasha, look, how do I put this? Some foods just don't go together: pickles and melon, whip cream and eggplant or...
Sasha: Radishes and yogurt. Oh God! I've heard this exact speech so many times. You're breaking up with me | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.