Best of Scrubs Season Four Quotes

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While the fate of Scrubs season nine still hangs in the balance, there's one thing we can tell you about previous Scrubs seasons: they'll still make you laugh.

With that in mind, we're busy catching up with Scrubs quotes from previous seasons while we eagerly await new episodes.  Today, we put up quotes from the beautiful season four.

Why so beautiful?  What other words can you use to describe a season that not only guest starred Heather Graham in a multiple episode arc, but also featured her in the following outfit:

Heather Graham Returns!

Yeah, that's what we thought.  Now that we have your attention, but sure and browse our complete collection of Scrubs season four quotes or just check out our favorites:

Dr. Cox: Yes, m'lady?
J.D.: So? You feeling all glahh!?
Dr. Cox: That depends, does "glahh!" mean confused and incredibly annoyed?
J.D.: Come on man, it's our last week together! The J.D. and Cox train is pulling into the station. You must have a metaphor you want to use, hit me with it.
Dr. Cox: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Let me low-carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products, high-def T.V., the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, The O.C., the U.N., recycling, getting punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammies, the real Grammies, Jeff that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much, the Yankee's payroll, the Red States, the Blue States, every hybrid car, every talk show host, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, and everything, everything, everything, everything everything, everything, everything, everything that exists, past, present and future in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions. Oh, and Hugh Jackman.
J.D.: Hugh Jackman's Wolverine! How dare he? | permalink
Dr. Kelso: That young man's father is very important.
Dr. Cox: Don't tell me, he donated a wing.
Dr. Kelso: He donated a wing, a thigh and a breast.
J.D.: Sir...
Dr. Kelso: Yes genius, in this metaphor the hospital is a chicken.
J.D.: Please, sir, I totally get that.
J.D.'s Narration: How could a hospital be a chicken? | permalink
J.D.: Doctor Cox! Can I ask you something?
Dr. Cox: The answer is yes, it was me who saw you doing leg lifts in the gym on that inflatable ball - it was quite the display of girl power - absolutly love the leg warmers.
J.D.: First of all they were just big socks, okay? And secondly, if you need to do some laundry, here's the washboard (lifts his shirt) ...right? | permalink
Carla: I got my period. This really sucks. I've been trying to get pregnant for two months now.
J.D.: I almost bought a baby yesterday.
Carla: What?
J.D.'s narration: Don't tell them in case you want it later.
J.D.: Nothing. | permalink
Dr. Cox: Thanks to your little gesture, she actually believes that the Earth is full of people who are deep down filled with kindness and caring!
Dr. Kelso: Well that's absurd, people are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.
Dr. Cox: Exactly! | permalink
Dr. Cox: Can I ask you a personal question? Just how long has it been since you swept the stuffed animals off of your bed, thrown your ankles up in the air and thanked whatever god you pray to that you didn't have on your granny panties? | permalink
Carla: What is the matter with you two? J.D., you said you were going to break up with Neena.
J.D.: I know! Believe me, the whole time we were having sex I was thinking about Turk. That came out wrong... | permalink
Dr. Cox: Say, that was some real Nancy Drew stuff, there...Nancy. I mean, absolutely irrelevant as far as medicine goes, but damn amusing!
J.D.: Don't feel weird because you're threatened by my gift. Many are.
Dr. Cox: Did you feel that you weren't quite annoying enough without adding a delusional sense of grandeur? Because I promise you, you are annoying enough. In fact, you're the number one contender for the middle weight annoyance crown.
J.D.: Well, you're the number one jealous...weight for the jealous weight... jealous ch-champ. | permalink
Dr. Cox: Unless all of you want to see me turn a two syllable word into a six syllable word I re-he-he-he-heally think that we should keep looking. | permalink
Todd: If you are going to stay with the Todd, you are going to have to hammock up. | permalink
Turk: Did you like it?
J.D.: Well that's kind of a trick question, Turk. I mean if I say yes, it's like I'm saying "damn dude, your wife is hot & I'd like to get me some of that". But if I say no then I'm all like "yo, I know she's your wife but you can keep that fish-lipped bitty". | permalink
Turk: What about you Carla, did you like it?
Carla: No! His lips are chappy.
J.D.: I can't use lip-balm; I always end up eating it. When I was little I used to spread it on crackers. | permalink
Turk: What does SCB mean?
J.D.: Super Chocolate Bear.
Turk: I love it.
J.D.: I knew you would. | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


Scrubs Quotes

Doug wanted me to give this patient five hundred thousand milligrams of morphine. I thought I'd check with you before I kill a man.


Quarantinis, anyone?