Classic TV Quotes: Arrested Development Season One

at .

As we hope the constantly rumored Arrested Development finally goes into production, we're glad to know we can always go back to the DVDs on our shelves and never get sick of this cult classic.

While the critically-acclaimed show never found its audience while it was on the air, the cult-like following this show has picked up since then has certainly warranted TV Fanatic's classic tv quote treatment.

Michael and Gob Wrestle

We've started off with the show's incredibly strong first season and put together the largest collection of Arrested Development quotes ever assembled on one site.  Relive your favorite moments from when we first met the Bluths with our quotes.

Whether it was discovered Tobias was a never-nude, watching the one-armed Walter Weatherman teaching the kids lessons, or just crazy Kitty flashing us, there's no funnier way to relive this show at work than browsing our quotes.

So what are you waiting for?  Oh, that's right, for us to end this post with our personal favorites:

Michael: So ... this is the magic trick, huh?
Gob: "Illusion," Michael. A "trick" is something a whore does for money. (Michael points out that a bunch of kids are staring at Gob with their mouths open) ... Or candy! | permalink
Maeby: I'm surprised you tried out for this.
George Michael: Yeah, I just love the theater.
Maeby: That's great. I'm just doing it to kiss Steve Holt.
George Michael: I actually think I'm going to quit. Yeah, theater's dead.
Maeby: But ... he's always going to be at football practice, so I'm going to have to kiss the stand-in.
George Michael: But no ... no. I love the theater, and I gave my word, so I'm back in. | permalink
Lindsay: I've always been very passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest?
Michael: Oh, I'll never forget your wedding. | permalink
George Sr.: I'm under a lot of pressure here. I'm trying to get my newsletter off the ground. I'm trying to decide which gang to align myself with.
Michael: Is it pledge week already?
George Sr.: I've got it down to two. But honestly, I don't even want to choose. I just feel... I feel like the prettiest girl at the dance. | permalink
Gob: I *bleep* Kitty!
Michael: Oh, Gob! I just wanted you to get the information.
Gob: I got the information.
Michael: You did, huh? About the international accounts?
Gob: Oh, I see what you're getting at. No, I didn't get any information. | permalink
Michael: Hey, Mom. Remember we had that conversation about trying to cut back on things that aren't necessities?
Lucille: Like it was yesterday.
Michael: It was this morning, and now I hear that you've hired a crew for the yacht? I'm selling that yacht.
Lucille: Michael, you haven't heard why I want it. To throw the most lavish party this town has ever seen for my birthday.
Michael: I enjoy a bicentennial as much as the next guy, Mom, but we're not doing that. | permalink
Michael: Mom, I'm looking for Gob. There's some people after him, and I don't know whether it's gambling or what, but they want to break his legs.
Lucille: It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter! | permalink
Michael: Tell you what. I'm going to give you the cash, but in return, I get to ask you for a favor sometime.
Gob: My gut is telling me no. But my gut is also very hungry. | permalink
Jessie: Daddy lost his shot at happy and it's all your fault, Opie.
Narrator: Jessie had gone too far and she had best watch her mouth. | permalink
Lucille 2: Buster, this is exactly why our relationship does not work.
Buster: Our relationship doesn't work?
Lucille 2: No, not as long as you keep getting me all mixed up with your mother.
Buster: It is exactly the opposite. I'm leaving my mother for you. You're replacing my mother. | permalink
Barry: Sorry, sorry, sorry I'm so late. I had another hearing. Here's the good news: I think I'm going to get off, huh? I have a good lawyer. | permalink
Michael: He's not a chicken. He just doesn't like confined spaces, that's all.
Gob: I thought it was open spaces.
Buster: No, it's both. | permalink
Lindsay: I've always been very passionate about the separation of church and state.
Michael: What are you going to do with them?
Lindsay: Oh, I don't know. Give them to a school. | permalink
Narrator: And Michael tried to find the money the accountant said was missing.
George Sr.: I don't know. I probably stole it. I mean, if he says it's missing, it is. Unless he stole it. Hey, maybe he stole it.
Michael: He's the one who said it's missing.
George Sr.: Yeah, I probably stole it. | permalink
George Sr.: Michael, this is my brother. Do you know what it's like to have a sibling who has no source of income except for you?
Michael: Just one? No, no idea. It sounds wonderful, though. | permalink
Lindsay: Is that a shot at me?
Gob: Probably.
Lindsay: Because, for your information, I have a job.
Michael: Really? What kind of job?
Lindsay: Beads!
Gob: Bees?!
Lindsay: Beads.
Gob: Beads?!
Michael: Gob's not on board. | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

Show Comments

Arrested Development Quotes

Gob's Wife: I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
Gob: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Gob's Wife: No, your sister's husband.
Gob: Michael? Michael!
Gob's Wife: No, that's your sister's brother.
Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother. You're in love with me - me.
Gob's Wife: I'm in love with Tobias.
Gob: My brother-in-law?
Gob's Wife: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
Gob: To be with your brother ...
Gob's Wife: No!

Maeby: Do you guys know where I can get one of those gold necklaces with a "T" on it?
Michael: That's a cross.
Maeby: Across from where?