Gossip Girl Round Table: "The Sixteen Year Old Virgin"

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Welcome to TV Fanatic's Gossip Girl Round Table, where we gather to review the events of "The Sixteen Year Old Virgin" and discuss developments to come.

Sadly, this week we are down one panelist, as DANdy is on his honeymoon with the new Mrs. DANdy. He misses you and will return for the April 6 Round Table!

Gossip Guy and Mister Meester attempt to hold the fort by dissecting Gossip Girl quotes, last night's two big stories, Lily's lie, Jack's deceit and more below ...


1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote last night?

Gossip Guy: For me, it's a tie between two of Blair's zingers. And what the heck, with no DANdy I can do two: "Settlements are for the guilty: celebrities that run people over, the Catholic church, it's not fair!" and "We have innocence, good breeding, and Doug Jarrett, one of the best lawyers in New York, on our side." Love her.

Mister Meester: In honor of my newlywed colleague, I'll pick what he would: Chuck's response to his lawyer telling him about the outraged Christian conservatives: "We have those in Manhattan?" Second place? Blair's response to the DNA evidence: "You've been watching too much CBS."

What, not a fan of NCIS, B?

GG RT Logo

2. Which story line did you enjoy more, Jenny's or Chuck's?

Gossip Guy: Absolutely Chuck's. While it was cute that Jenny's story line seemed to pull everyone and their father into the equation, Chuck's brought back Jack Bass and featured the biggest shock at the end of the episode.

Mister Meester: Chuck's is great but a Jenny-centric episode was a nice change of pace and brought three different couples - Danessa, Serenate and Rily - into the fold, while also delving into their separate issues. Well played, GG. As for J, she obviously made the right choice, though part of me wishes she'd gone through with it just to see the fallout next week.

3. Harder to believe, Blair and Elizabeth reacting indignantly to the DNA test, Damien storming out on Jenny, or Serena wearing a dress with no cleavage?

Gossip Guy: While I was ready to strangle Blair at her trying to talk Chuck out of the DNA test, I couldn't even wrap my head around what Serena was wearing. Those are normally two of my favorite reasons for tuning in each week.

Mister Meester: I'm no Damien fan, but it seemed like he was kinda into Jenny ... maybe even to the point where he'd chill out about getting in her pants? Yes, I realize he is a d!ck, but I don't buy him taking off quite that abruptly. Oh, and don't let us down again, S.

4. Why do you think Lily is hiding the reason why she's seeing her ex?

Gossip Guy: Isn't it obvious? That scandalous bitch is exchanging sex for medical service and clearly Rufus would not be okay with this. Someone should tell her that Obama signed that health care reform bill. Lily's mom can finally get the insurance she needs!

Mister Meester: Perhaps something experimental Rufus would not agree with, like Lily being involved in a transplant of some kind? Nah, probably what Gossip Guy said.

Or they're straight up hitting it while he's been treating Cece and the two aren't related.

Huggin' It Out

All is well with Rufus and Lily ... for the next 11 minutes.

5. What do you think is Elizabeth and Jack's ultimate plan?

Mister Meester: Clearly they are in cahoots and want to hose Chuck out of money, but as we said in TVF's review, what's unclear to me are the following issues:

  1. How they can actually force him out, if the sexual harassment claims are frivolous and he only stepped down on an interim basis
  2. Whether the DNA test was faked or Elizabeth really is the mother
  3. If she is Chuck's mom, whether she'll have a change of heart, realizing that after abandoning Chuck his whole life, the least she can do is help him out against Jack. I least I hope that's what happens.

Gossip Guy: Right now I'm less concerned with the ultimate plan, which I assume is just taking over Chuck's inheritance they each feel entitled to, but more so how Elizabeth can be the worst human being alive. I get Jack. He's proved time and time again he's a scumbag (Go Rufus for standing up to him!) But really Elizabeth?

Absent from your son's life for 19 years, making him believe he killed his own mother, and now trying to steal his livelihood? There's a special place reserved in Hell for you.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Gossip Girl Season 3 Episode 15 Quotes

There's always a moment a father just can't let himself fear. The moment is little J decides to lose her big V.

Gossip Girl

Vanessa: Actually, The dorm is throwing this huge South Beach party today..
Dan: Great, I love parties.
Vanessa: And I'm going with Paul..
Dan: I love Paul!

Gossip Girl Season 3 Episode 15 Music

  Song Artist
Song So Light Is Her Footfall Air iTunes
Ive had the time of my life (I've Had) The Time of My Life Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes iTunes
Hungry eyes Hungry Eyes Eric Carmen iTunes