Jersey Shore Season Premiere Review: "Goin' South"

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Jersey Shore can be revolting. But man, we missed it so much.

The fist-pumping, classless meatheads from the Northeast - you can't even say they're from New Jersey, as only two of the eight cast members are - invaded South Beach last night in the much-anticipated second season premiere on MTV. Why Miami?

Because they could bring episodes to air sooner filming in warmer climes. In the words of the great Pauly D, describing his native Rhode Island in the winter, "You can't do nothin' in this weatha. Can't tan, can't creep, girls don't come out in this weatha."

Enough said, my friends.

Pauly, The Situation, J-Woww and Snooki road tripped to South Beach while the rest of the gang flew. The fireworks soon followed, and we're not talking about the ones the guys lit off in the cornfield. Two of the same sources of drama started it again: Angelina and RonSam.

New Roommate

The Situation reacts to Angelina's surprise arrival in the house.

Having just called dibs on a three-person bedroom, Pauly and Mike are stunned by the arrival of Angelina, who waltzes in believing people should give her another chance.

Problem is, no one wants to, nor did they know she was even coming back for Season 2 of Jersey Shore, apparently. The guys are like, whatever. The girls? They hate her.

Meanwhile, tension with Ronnie and Sammi is predictable and lame. They're annoying, and need to get a grip - is this going to be an Audrina-Justin thing spanning years?

When the gang heads out to the clubs, the girls can't even make it out of the cab without a physical altercation almost breaking out. JWoww needs to lay off the steroids.

Hours later, Ronnie is really mean to Sammi, who storms off and leaves him to get belligerently drunk with the guys, stepping on land mines and grenades left and right.

The Season 2 premiere was nothing too exceptional, but it delivered the same entertainment value we were legitimately excited to have back after a long winter layoff.

Follow the jump for some classic Jersey Shore quotes from Thursday ...

Snooki: You're a white rat and you're f*%king pale and you're nasty.
Angelina: Yeah well you're too tan and you're disgusting.
Snooki: I AM tan and I like being tan BITCH! | permalink
Vinny: Ronnie's obliviated at this point. | permalink
Pauly D: Angelina rooming with me and Situation could be a good thing or a bad thing. I don't want the drama in Miami, but then again maybe there'll be a slow night, it's raining, we got no chicks — you never know what can happen. | permalink
The Situation: Ron is at the club hooking up with grenades, which is a bigger ugly chick, and land mines, which is a thinner ugly chick, and ... loving life. | permalink
Pauly D: I love single Ronnie. | permalink
Pauly D: Can't do nothin' in this weather. Can't tan, can't creep. Girls don't come out in this weather, they stay in the house. | permalink
The Situation: Who does AAA call when AAA gets stuck? | permalink
Snooki: If you're gonna hand me a bottle of SoCo, something just comes over me - I just go crazy! | permalink
Snooki: I don't go tanning tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning. Because he's pale and would probably want to be tan. Obama doesn't have that problem. Obviously. | permalink
Vinny: My uncles, they just want me to bang everybody, but I'm interested in more quality girls. | permalink
Sammi: [to Ronnie] Gym, tan, smush, huh? | permalink
Snooki: My bronzer is leaking off my face. | permalink
Angelina: What's her problem? I was mad chill with her. | permalink
The Situation: I'm gonna bring a little Jersey down to MIA, which is Miami, and I'm excited. | permalink
Angelina: I think you should shut your f*%king mouth.
JWoww: You want to step the f*%k outside? Let's go! | permalink
Snooki: I feel like a pilgrim from the f*%king '20s washing this $h!t in the sink. | permalink
Angelina: I'm tryin' to be classy right now! | permalink
Sammi: I would legit beat the living $h!t out of Angelina and Ron at the same time if Ron and Angelina ever hooked up. | permalink

Goin' South Review

Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.9 / 5.0 (21 Votes)

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Jersey Shore Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

My bronzer is leaking off my face.


[to Ronnie] Gym, tan, smush, huh?