Gossip Girl Reality Index: September 27

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We reviewed Monday evening's Gossip Girl, "The Undergraduates," earlier this morning. Now it's time for one of our favorite GG features, New York Magazine's reality index.

Excerpts from their take on the night's high and low points:

  • Eva has non-famous, normal-person teeth. Plus 2.
  • Eric is back! With no explanation or comment. Eh, Plus 2.
  • Blair: “Their membership is so restricted it makes Soho House look like a halfway house.” Plus only 1 because, let’s be honest, every house has that effect.
  • Plus 3, because even though Chuck just threw out his little black book, you can tell he clearly wants Nate to know he still knows where it’s at.
  • Blair’s face when Eva appears ... Plus 10.
VDW Photo
  • Why is Serena wise and all-seeing all of a sudden when it comes to Juliet? Minus only 1, because when something comes between her vagina and its food, Serena’s brain is clearly allowed to receive the proper amount of blood flow.
  • They wear those giant keys around their necks all the time? Do Pi Kappa Alpha girls wear tiny kegs of booze around their necks, like St. Bernards? No. At least they would have had Tiffany make nice, demure necklaces or something. Minus 8.
  • Eric remembers that Chuck tried to rape Jenny. Finally! Someone does! Plus 10.
  • Well, well, well, we have to give it to the writers, we did not quite see that Juliet setup coming. Way to go, Blair and Serena. Plus 10 for consistency.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

[to Jenny] That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, you're my Queen. I choose you.