Desperate Housewives Review: Full of Manure

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On "Assassins," most of my theories about who tried to kill Paul Young (I had my money on Beth) were shot down quickly. Sadly, this wasn't the only disappointment of the night.

Bree, Keith and Orson

Let’s face it: Beth really is not a long-term player on this show, and it would create a good exit strategy for her to be the culprit.  Following her convincing conversation with her mother about the shooting, however, we can eliminate her as a suspect.

Beth really does seem to be in love with the man.  But now that he knows who she really is, the question becomes: what will he do to her?  I surmise this victim may become the killer yet again, as Paul's rage for Beth builds.  Look out, girl, mama may be right this time around!

Aside from Beth and Felicia – I thought perhaps the shooter may be someone completely unassuming - my next choice was Renee.  Now, I know that is a long shot (pun... intended!), but think about it:

Renee does not have a huge role on the Lane, and her exit may be just around the corner.   This divorcee with no family and limited friends may go to great lengths to protect those she cares about.

So here is how that theory breaks down: Renee was so touched by her newfound friendship with Susan that seeing her get trampled as a result of Paul’s actions caused her to take matters into her own hands and seek revenge.  Renee is cold-hearted, but is she a cold-blooded killer? We’ll have to wait to find out.

Back to those other disappointments:  Susan’s seizure did not have us convinced.  As for falling on the floor, Susan only wins points when it is a silly accident, not a serious medical condition. Teri Hatcher just doesn’t have what it takes be serious.

Speaking of bad acting, the scene where Renee tells Lynette of her long ago love affair with Tom was less than stellar.  Renee’s emotional part left us stunned – and not in a good way.  We much preferred Renee’s cocky and affected persona to this emotional wreck she has become over the last few episodes.

The show needs that egotistical drama queen back. Remember Edie?  She added a whole new dimension to the “normal” housewives and that is what we loved about Renee. Until recently.  Let’s hope she snaps out of it, throws on something Versace and hits the town again soon.

Meanwhile, Orsen is back in Bree’s life, and he and Keith do NOT hit it off.  After their brief food fight, Bree tackles Keith in a pile of manure in the yard to prove her love to him.  Now that, my friends, is a true lady.  Stand by your man... or roll with him in a pile of shit, to be more specific.

Next week, it looks like the comedy and lightheartedness return. I can’t wait.  What did everyone else think?

Assassins Review

Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.7 / 5.0 (52 Votes)
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Desperate Housewives Season 7 Episode 11 Quotes

Somebody's been a naughty boy. I guess you changed your mind about that proposal I made. Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled. I just wish you had waited until I gave you the signal.

Felicia [to Mike]

I hate you. A lot. But I do foresee a day far in the future when I might only hate you a little.

Lynette [to Renee]