GCB Review: Marriage All Stars

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"Love is Patient." Really?!? I'd be more inclined to say love was Hell if we left it up to the couples on GCB. The pastor did not strike me as an insane man, so why did he choose the Cockburns, Peachams and Reillys to be his model tandems? Unbelievable.

This was the first episode where the action was essentially focused on those couples and not Amanda and Gigi. The latter's dearth was sorely felt, as the joy and light that Annie Potts brings was apparent in its absence. Cricket picked up the slack in the GCB quotes department, and it was her story with Blake that I found the most interesting.

GCB Scene

As we learned last week, Cricket and Blake had a marriage of convenience. She knew fully well what she was getting into when she married him, and they made accommodations to suit their lifestyle. All of the workouts Cricket does? They release tension in more ways than one.

Carlene and Ripp resorted to dressing up as Adam and Even in an attempt to raise the bedroom battle flag, but even that couldn't do it for ole Ripp. He was swindled by Bill Vaughn and his mind was elsewhere. Carlene was trying everything and finally asked one of Cricket's trainers for the 'Cricket treatment' and got the surprise of her life. Being better than everyone else, she took the time to tell Blake he wasn't doing it for his wife in the bedroom.

A really sweet moment arose from Carlene's nosiness, however. Cricket was able to open up to Blake about what it takes to put on the show day in and day out. She even gave him an out: He could use her adultery as reason for divorce and not have to look the fool. But they were perfect for each other in every way but one. The thing they offer to each other that nobody else could give was to be loved completely for who they are. I did have to laugh when he found the remote in that dream bed of theirs.

Ripp and Carlene really need to blame the world for their faults, and Amanda will still be within shooting range. They've decided she knows Bill's alive and where the money was hidden. I thought a good portion of it blew up the California coast and burned in his car for one thing, and I can't imagine why they would think she'd put herself through a return to Dallas if she had money stashed. Shows they are definitely not the ripest fruit on the tree.

The only other thing of note was Amanda forcing Sharon to tell Zach she knew about the kiss. (Sidenote: Sharon eternally eats ice cream and is supposed to be a fat hog compared to her high school days but is realistically probably a size 8 if she's lucky. That's one stereotype I cannot stand on television.) The Peachams are going to try to reclaim their glory days. Good luck with that.

With the friends they have, they won't stand a chance. If there's one thing we have learned about the three Marriage All Stars, it's that they don't care for anyone but themselves. Such a pity.

Other bits:

  • Gigi pushed Amanda again and promised not to do it again. Think she'll keep her word? At least this time Amanda wants to start dating. They do share a strong bond, and their similarities are also the wedge that drives them apart.
  • Heather found a cute boy to like and together they were a total disaster. She knocked his crown out! It sounds like a bad fairytale.
  • Why would Carlene have on a full body Eve costume to get Ripp all hot and bothered and not just a bikini? Did Kristen Chenoweth sign a contract on skimpy clothing?
  • I wonder how much trouble the Cockburns are going to drip all over Amanda in their search for the dead. Hasn't she been through enough?
  • Am I the only one who has to stifle a giggle every time I hear the name Cockburn? Ripp Cockburn for goodness sakes?

Love is Patient Review

Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.9 / 5.0 (60 Votes)

Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer and critic for TV Fanatic. She's a member of the Critic's Choice Association, enjoys mentoring writers, conversing with cats, and passionately discussing the nuances of television and film with anyone who will listen. Follow her on Twitter and email her here at TV Fanatic.

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GCB Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes

I don't remember the exact verse, but the bible is just full of that kind of whoop ass.


Why you askin' me? From the way you talk Ripp knocks the nickels out of you every five seconds.