The Bachelor Review: The One to Steal Juan Pablo's Heart Is...

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Nikki Ferrell and Clare Crawley head to St. Lucia where Juan Pablo Galavis crowns one of them the The Bachelor Season 18 winner.

Will he actually propose? The Bachelor spoilers have long indicated that Juan Pablo doesn't ask his final female to marry him, and even more spoilers than that indicate that Juan Pablo and his lady haven't even survived through the After the Final Rose ceremony.

Are the spoilers correct? Let's watch The Bachelor finale and find out...

Chris Harrison enters the live studio full of people eager to watch The Bachelor finale live. He calls it "one of the most dramatic and surprising" finales ever. Just like every other finale. Minus 5.

"The controversy around Juan Pablo is unlike anything we've ever seen before." Oh, REEEEEAAAALLLLLY, Chris Harrison. Really. 

Juan Pablo's entire family has been flown to St. Lucia where Nikki and Clare will meet them all. His sister even flew in from Venezuela. 

Clare's going to meet the parents first. Juan Pablo says his physical attraction to Clare is "on fire." Vomit. Minus 2.

The only redeeming thing about Juan Pablo at this point is his relationship with his daughter. The only thing.

His family finds out that Clare's mother is Mexican and everyone in her family speaks Spanish except for her. She loses points in their eyes with that. She totally does.

Juan Pablo's mom sits down with Clare and Clare tells the Mama that she feels love for Juan Pablo. Then Mama says "ask me anything" like she's on Reddit. 

Clare asks about his personality and Mama says he's hyperactive. That's...not personality? Minus 2.

Ohhh, there we go.

"He sometimes is very rude." TRUE STORY, MAMA. True story. Clare is EXCITED to learn that she's been RIGHT about him being RUDE. What kind of bizarro world does this woman live in?

Rodolfo, the cousin with the braces, says that sometimes Juan Pablo walks away in relationships when things get rough. Can Clare keep holding on if Juan Pablo is walking away? 

Rodolfo and Juan Pablo chat and Rodolfo tells Juan Pablo that Clare is basically "begging" for an engagement and babies. 

Awww, Juan Pablo's dad tells Clare that he would love any children she brought to their family and that if Juan Pablo chooses her, she'll have a dad. It's pretty sweet. Plus 10.

Chris reminds us that this will be the most controversial finale in history and then asks how many people think Juan Pablo chooses Clare. About 5 people cheer.

And now it's Nikki's turn to meet Juan Pablo's family again.

There he goes with Camila and his niece again! It's adorable! Why didn't ABC just give him a show hanging out with his daughter?? Plus 8.

Nikki's nervous to meet Juan Pablo's family again because this time she'll be hanging out with them. 

Papa talks to Nikki first and she says that Camila has made Juan Pablo who he is today. She wants a relationship with both Juan Pablo and Camila and Papa says it won't be easy. Juan Pablo isn't an easy guy. He's "focalized" on what he wants.

"He think he knew the truth of everything." Papa gets more points for speaking the REAL truth. Plus 12.

In her conversation with Mama, Nikki says "love" approximately 8 times in 2 minutes. Mama tells Nikki that Juan Pablo is a simple guy, happy to stay home and watch TV on the weekends. 

Nikki talks to Rodolfo and tells him that she's in love with Juan Pablo. He's asking the tough questions, which explains why he's here. He wants to know, again, how Nikki would deal with Juan Pablo walking away or fighting. 

"I think we would fight well," she says. 

It's time for the final dates before Juan Pablo makes his decision. He doesn't know what he's going to do, so he starts by taking Clare on a date. 

She comes running across a field toward him and they take a helicopter ride to see St. Lucia from the air. Or they would do that if they could ever stop kissing. 

She's "on cloud 9." BAAARF. Minus 10. Juan Pablo says she's "sexy, she's cute, she aye aye..." Baaaaaarrrrrf. Minus 12.

As the helicopter is landing, Juan Pablo leans over with no cameras or other people around and whispers in Clare's ear something that she says "no woman wants to hear." 

He says that he really doesn't know her and then says something "sexual" that she "really doesn't even want to repeat." It's offensive and insulting and she's "not just an object." 

He said "I feel like we don't know each other." And that he loved hooking up with her, but not in those words. She won't repeat the words he used. 

She won't kiss him when he walks into her apartment and instead just asks him to sit. Plus 7

She's so awkward when she says "I want to talk to you" like she's trying to smile and NOT be mad when she apparently really should be mad. It's weird.

He says that he didn't mean "I don't know you at all." What he MEANT was that he doesn't know her enough. He doesn't know either of them enough.

He says there are parts of her he likes and probably parts of her he doesn't like because he doesn't know those parts yet. She doesn't take that well, but he kind of has a point. He turns the tables and says there are probably lots of things she doesn't know about him and won't like either.

Clare's ready to walk if Juan Pablo is only in it with her for their chemistry. 

He tells her that the best thing she ever did was instill the "no kissing" rule that lasted from Los Angeles to South Korea, so approximately one week. Minus 3.

Juan Pablo lists the things he does like about Clare and then tells her he has spent a week thinking about whether or not he can actually propose to either of them because it's about more than just him.

He smooth talks his way back into her heart. She goes ahead and talks about marriage. Minus 15.

Now it's time for Nikki's final date. Will Juan Pablo whisper sweet inappropriate nothings in her ear? 

She walks up in a bikini ready to hop on a boat with Juan Pablo for the day. She's looking for openness and sharing and probably isn't going to get it. She'll get "honesty" though.

Nikki tells Juan Pablo that he's guarded and he says "no, I'm not guarded." Minus 8. No one would blame him if he was.

"What's going to happen when you don't have private islands anymore," Nikki asks. "I'll have a bed and a TV," he replies. Oh, okay then.

She really, really wants him to tell her that he loves her. Until he tells her he loves her, she won't be able to settle down for this date. He doesn't do much to reassure her other than telling her it's going to be okay. But she "wants forever with him." 

She gives him a picture of the two of them and a sweet, heartfelt letter. He kisses her on the forehead and then says he'll see her tomorrow.

OUCH. Minus 18.

After he leaves she sits down on her couch and has a good cry. 

The day has come when Juan Pablo has to make his final choice. The girls are getting dressed in their finest and Juan Pablo looks dapper in a navy suit.

Oh, look. Posed shots of the women on balconies looking out over the ocean! Minus 2.

Both women are certain Juan Pablo is going to propose to them. Clare closes her eyes as she rides on a boat and gets her perfectly curled hair completely windblown. 

"It has to be me!" they both say! But it can only be one of them.

Clare gets off her boat first and Chris Harrison escorts her to see Juan Pablo. She says there were times she wanted to bolt and times that scared her to death. But she's standing there right now because they have something special and she believes in him.

Juan Pablo remembers the first time he saw Clare, when she got out of the limo with the fake belly and says she's there because he wanted her to be there. She's "unbelievable...such an amazing woman."

Then he says "I wish the earth sucked me today." (Not gonna lie. I laughed at that.)

He sends her home as gently as he can and goes in for a hug but she puts her hands up and stops him. She tells him that she gave him an out two nights ago and he didn't take it. 

"You had every opportunity to tell me how you feel," she says. "Do you know how I feel?" he replies. "Do you know when I made my decision?"

"I don't care." And then she says she'd never want a man like him to be the father of her children and walks away.

"I'm glad I didn't pick her" he says, after she's out of earshot. OMG! Minus 75. (But we're all glad you didn't pick her, too.)

Now Juan Pablo waits for Nikki with his Neil Lane diamond engagement ring. (It's gorgeous.) She treks across the sand in her high heels and Chris Harrison escorts her in. 

She's excited for the possibility that she's getting engaged, last night's tears a distant memory.

Nikki starts by thanking him for the experiences, but she should really be thanking ABC. She wants him to be a part of her life and wants to be a part of his. Nikki can't imagine spending her life without him.

"Nikki, I love so many things about you..." NOT THE SAME, JUAN PABLO. Minus 25

He recalls a conversation with her dad and says he isn't 100% sure that he wants to propose but he is 100% sure that he doesn't want to let her go.

He gives her a rose instead of a ring. 

That's a respectable move coming from just about anyone other than Juan Pablo. 

And now it's time for the After the Final Rose live chat. 

"Why was 'I like you a lot' enough for Nikki," Chris Harrison asks. Hopefully we'll find out at some point in the next hour.

First we have to talk to Clare. Watching everything back for the first time was hard and brought back the sting of the day Juan Pablo sent her home. 

Clare is a compulsive lip-licker and I would really like to hand her a tube of Chapstick while also knowing what lipstick she's wearing that it doesn't wipe off with all the lip-licking she does when she's nervous. minus 2

She admits she should have left after he offended her in the helicopter in St. Lucia but she trusted that this was the real deal. 

Chris asks if she'd like to confront Juan Pablo and she talks about how laying all of her emotions on the line when she left in St. Lucia was all the closure she needed. She doesn't want to sit on the couch and get fed "anymore BS." Plus 48.

Kelly leans over to whisper something to Sharleen. What did she say!?!?

Juan Pablo finally makes his way out and Chris asks him about Clare. He just says he made the decision he had to make for himself. 

Chris asks him if he has any regrets about the way things went down on the show and Juan Pablo starts rambling on about how many hours he spent on the show for it to be boiled down to 20 hours of programming and he enjoyed getting to know the women.

Chris tries to steer him back to the topic and Juan Pablo goes "can I talk?" 

My eyes just did this: O_O 

When Chris asks him about the helicopter, Juan Pablo says he won't say anything bad about Clare and that what happened in the helicopter stays in the helicopter. He also doesn't know why he should have any regrets. 

Juan Pablo leaves the stage and Nikki comes out to sit with Chris. Her hair is looking great. Apparently she and Juan Pablo are still dating and she's still in love with him. But she still doesn't know if he's in love with her. Minus 10.

She's not going to force him to say "I love you." According to her, they're both happy in their relationship.

Juan Pablo joins Nikki on the stage and she immediately cozies up to him. They've kept their relationship secret for 4 months and now they can go out in public. 

Chris asks Juan Pablo if he has a big surprise for the night and Juan Pablo says that he doesn't. He talked to the executives and no, he doesn't have any surprises. 

Chris presses him about the love issue and says she told the world she loves Juan Pablo but he won't say it back. And he won't. He refuses to publicly profess his love.

I can't decide if I like that he won't buckle to Chris Harrison's pressure or don't like it.

Sean gives him the side-eye. 

Juan Pablo is heated. HEATED. He keeps getting interrupted and doesn't like it and keeps shutting Chris down. There might be flames bursting out of both of their ears right now. 

Chris asks Sean to speak about his experience. Sean was okay giving up his privacy in a way that Juan Pablo isn't comfortable. Sean couldn't wait to tell Catherine he loved her, but acknowledges that different people work in different ways. Plus 2? I think?

Chris is just hung up on being able to say that Nikki and Juan Pablo are in love. Nikki says this is a real relationship and they're taking it very seriously. Juan Pablo says time will tell for the two of them.

Finally, they acknowledge that the end result is what matters and they're happy. Two weeks ago their plans changed so now they're starting their future together in a public relationship. Chris keeps pressing Juan Pablo on what the plans are but Juan Pablo won't tell him. Minus 4

Catherine says this show is about love and tells Juan Pablo not to slap the hand that fed him. Chris tries to host-splain it to Juan Pablo and again pushes the love issue. He says he'd never seen the show before and Sharleen leans over to whisper into Kat's ear.

Chris congratulates them and then tells us it's time to meet the new Bachelorette.


She believes she's going to find the love of her life on a reality dating show! Minus 12.

Chris makes fun of Juan Pablo by asking Andi if she knows this is going to be on television and giving her a pass to express her emotions on this journey. 

And with that another season of The Bachelor is done! Finally! 


1810 Review

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Miranda Wicker was a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. She retired in 2017. Follow her on Twitter.

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