The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 7 Episode 12 Review: Beauties in the Fast Lane

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On The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 7 Episode 12 the ladies returned to their regularly scheduled lives bringing the drama they experienced in Puerto Rico home with them as carry-on baggage. 

One housewife in particular who is eager to lose that baggage is Cynthia Bailey. She's making a decision about her friendship with one NeNe Leakes that we're ready to recap in full TVF fashion.

Rethinking the Drama - The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Gregg picks NeNe up at the airport and acts like he hasn't seen her in a decade. She says the women and their negative energy just don't work for her. 

Across town, Cynthia tells Peter and Mal that Puerto Rico was fun, then a nightmare, then shady, then fun. Cynthia and Mal gab while Peter just stares into the distance. 

When NeNe tells Gregg about cl*t-gate, Gregg says he thought she left NayNay at home. Plus 4.

Cynthia's tale of Claudia's insults at dinner causes Peter to declare he likes her energy even though he hasn't met her. She stands up to bullies. Mal wants to know why Peter doesn't like her and he calls her a busybody.

Gregg says he wants to take NeNe out for drinks for apologizing to Claudia and handling herself. Cynthia burns the friendship contract she's hung onto for three years.

Todd and Kandi are trying to have a baby, but something doesn't seem to be working since she's not pregnant yet. Dr. Jackie needs Todd to give a sample for testing and this has to be one of the most hilarious encounters. Plus 15 to him for being a good sport.

Peter's opening a bar in Charlotte and Cynthia needs an outfit. She calls her assistants over to show them two choices just so they can tell her to take both and then pack her suitcase for her. PACK HER SUITCASE FOR HER. Minus 17.

Since there will be men there, Cynthia's inviting all the ladies, or maybe just Kenya and Claudia. Wait, Phaedra's a maybe. Kandi's busy getting ready to set up her show's tour.

Phaedra calls Derek J with information about his case. Remember the woman who's suing him because she says he stole her hair? Yeah. The rumor is affecting his business. 

"That's all you got is your name. And a good pair of pumps, child." --Phaedra Parks. That'll preach. Plus 20

Phaedra and Apollo got news of his report date and Phaedra's unsure how things are going to go for their boys. In the first time we've seen them together all season, Apollo takes the boys out for fro-yo after school and tries to broach the topic of what happens when people get in trouble with Aiden. Heart. Breaking. 

(No sympathies for Apollo. He did the crime, he does the time, but how he did that crime without thinking of his boys is...unfathomable.)

Phaedra got advice from NeNe about what to do while Apollo's away since she divorced Gregg when her son was still sort of young. It's not the same thing as Apollo going to jail for 8 years, but they're trying to support Phaedra as best they know how.

It almost seems like Apollo has been pulling away from the boys this season because the idea of separating from them is a really hard pill to swallow. But then there's always the chance he's just been edited to be pulling away from them. 

Cynthia has an entire room in her house for clothes and shoes. I can't decide if I'm jealous or if I actually hate her. Minus 8. Oh wait a second. It's the room RIGHT OFF THE FOYER. Minus 20

She packed extra in case what Claudia brought wasn't enough to land a man.

Because their regular cars aren't...something...enough, Cynthia rented a Yukon for their road trip. Nice product placement. 

Kandi's telling the girls, Kayla and Riley, both teenagers, that it's time to clean out the pantry so that everything in the house will be healthy stuff for her (Kandi) to eat. Minus 10.

Oh god. Now she has them making an ovulation calendar for her. SHE HAS THEM TRACKING HER OVULATION. Dear sweet baby jesus. Just...set them up in the room and give them some sex ed.

"Hey girls! This is how babies are made." Minus 45.

Kayla and Riley aren't really getting along, and apparently Riley is only 11? That's...sort of crazy. At least the girls don't openly hate each other. 

Cynthia calls Phaedra to find out if she's going to make it to Charlotte and Phaedra says she won't be making it because she has a dentist appointment and Bible study. Kenya hangs up Cynthia's phone and then they start making fun of Phaedra. I really kind of hate these girls sometimes.

Kandi and Todd take the girls to a Go-Kart track for a little family outing and then Kandi surprises him with his dream car for a belated birthday present. Looks like she's been hanging out with Kim Biermann but the good news is that Kandi's actually solvent so they'll get to keep this one.

Peter's getting ready to open up Sports One in Charlotte and Cynthia and the girls aren't there yet. They have 1.5 hours and decide to stop at Chick-fil-A for food and milkshakes. Then Kenya decides to moon a car. THEN they have to stop for gas. 

Then Kenya makes them listen to her song while she dances hanging out of the sunroof. 

They're never going to make it to this opening at this rate. Minus 15.

Peter's rolled out the carpet for Sports One's grand opening and Kordell Stewart, who is apparently Peter's business partner in this venture, arrives. The girls are playing dress up in the hotel.

Peter's pissed.

Cynthia leaves without the girls and tells them to get dressed and show up later. She heads on to the bar. Plus 3. Good call.

Kenya and Claudia show up later and, as it turns out, Claudia knows Kordell Stewart. They go way back. Kenya tries to play matchmaker and push Claudia and Kordell together.

Kenya's not even thinking about the repercussions of pushing Claudia together given the fact that Claudia and Porsha work together. Now Peter's in on this setup.

Kenya asks to see the rest of the bar so that they can leave Claudia and Kordell alone at the table. They exchange numbers, take a selfie, and then she struts herself across the restaurant.

This is not going to end well. 

Let's watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta online to see how it all goes down.

EPISODE TOTAL: -75 SEASON TOTAL: -499

Beauties in the Fast Lane Review

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Miranda Wicker is a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

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