The Bachelor Review: Corn, Cows and Chris Soules' Hometown

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Since we're a Rose Ceremony behind, tonight's special airing, The Bachelor Season 19 Episode 8, is going to get us all caught up on this season's dramatic eliminations. Right after Chris takes ALL the women to his hometown, that is.

Oh yes, ALL the remaining girls are going to Iowa! This might actually be the smartest thing Chris Soules has done all season. 

The seven remaining women are loving the fact that Kelsey and Ashley were both sent home on the two-on-one date. Britt asks Chris if he minds telling them where his mind is at and Kaitlyn says they're all proud of him for sending both girls home. 

He doesn't really answer Britt and sort of laughs at Kaitlyn, and then he takes Megan for some alone time. She says she's not sure they're on the same level as the other girls and she wants to know what he's feeling. He says it's getting crazy hard right now and answers her honestly. 

He's having a hard time with all of it and she's probably not the one for him. She thanks him and says she's going to let him go. The other women can't believe she's leaving without even saying goodbye to them. 

Ugh. I can't even plus or minus this because what a bummer of a way to kick off an episode. I need another beer.

In the limo, Megan says they would probably fall in love if they had more time. Chris sits down on a sidewalk and puts his head in his hands. someone get Megan a tissue, okay? Can we just get the girl a tissue?

He enters the cocktail party again and says Megan's a really nice girl and it's painful to say goodbye to her. Kaitlyn thinks maybe there won't be a rose ceremony tonight just as Chris Harrison enters and says there will be. Minus 8

My money's on Carly, but I'm The Bachelor spoilers free, so we'll see. Whitney also thinks it's Carly which means she's pretty certain it's not her. Carly says he's an easy person to love and she feels like she's gonna puke. Or cry. But she's already crying so somebody get her a bucket.

Chris tells Chris that he's not sure he can go through with this tonight. He has feelings for all of these girls. CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC.

Britt is all wrapped up in Whitney, stroking Whit's arm, and all I can think is that Britt must be a unicorn since she doesn't shower or wash her hair and those girls will still get that close to her. I NEED TO KNOW HER UNICORN SECRETS. Plus 7.

SURPRISE! Chris Soules isn't sending anyone else home tonight. He feels confident that he could see himself with any of these women so they're all staying. Or going, rather. To Iowa. 

Carly springs off the couch and gives Chris a giant hug. Britt loves that he loves Iowa but she's looking v. v. unsure about this place that Chris calls "God's country." She's all "WHO EVEN LIVES THERE!?"

Carly says she didn't expect Iowa to be this beautiful. "There's...TREES!" Minus 4

They're going to Iowa with Chris the week before hometowns. Pressure! As soon as they get into their suite at the hotel, which cannot possibly be in Arlington, Iowa, there's a date card. Jade has been invited to join Chris in his hometown and she, obviously, will be saying yes to that request. Plus 6

Britt says she's excited for Jade but jealous because she'd love to be going. Britt really wants to know if Arlington is a place she could see herself living. (No, Britt. No, it isn't a place you could see yourself living.) She knows Chris isn't budging from his life on the farm. 

Jade's in the car on the way to Arlington looking at all the corn. ALL. THE. CORN. And some cows but mostly a LOT of corn.

(We are only 18 minutes into this, people.)

Jade thinks the small town, slow paced life sounds romantic, but she's apparently from a small town so she's realistic about what this all could entail. I like her. She's normal. Plus 10.

Chris shows her around the house, including the bedroom, which "needs a woman's touch." He likes owning land and working it. It's one of his passions. Next to puffy vests, beer, and his weird laugh. 

His cows have names and he wants to name one Jade. Minus 10 for that joke, Chris. 

Maybe Jade isn't so sure about small town life? 

Back at the suite, Whitney gets a one on one in Des Moines with Chris. Britt is bummed that she's not getting more time with him. Kaitlyn is too but Kaitlyn has a better attitude about it. Plus 2.

Jade gets to ride on the back of Chris' motorcylce and apparently he just has a women's size motorcycle jacket hanging in his closet since she didn't get out of the limo with that. 

There's basically nothing in Arlington. No restaurants. No coffee shops. No bars. There's nothing left. Chris remembers when the little downtown area was more populated, so there's a hint of nostalgia in his voice, but yeah, there's nothing there at all. 

Jade's feeling overwhelmed with how deserted this place is and with the fact that there's no one in town. Chris takes her to a high school football game, where he attended and played, and the cheerleaders are in jeans and non-school colored fleece jackets. But hey, there are people there.

Including Chris's mom and dad. Plus 10.

It's a quick meeting, but she definitely gets a little facetime with mom and pops. 

Back at the house, Britt, Kaitlyn, and Becca talk about how Jade got the one on one date and they're all kind of jealous about it. 

This high school has about 10 kids in it. The football players march halftime in their football gear, and the cheerleaders do double time as members of the drumline. 

Jade has a "wild side" she's hiding from Chris as they go walking through the halls of his old high school. Once upon a time, she, small town girl Jade, who worked really hard to be the person she is today, rebeled HARD. But she's not telling Chris what she did while she was acting like a rebellious teenager yet because it's not time. Minus 10

Instead Chris is just going to study "French" with Jade in the halls of his old high school. Against a locker outside his English classroom. Plus 9.

Chris and Jade take selfies with people in the stands. Awww. Their team lost but Chris was a "definite winner." The crowd chants for them to kiss, so they do, and this is "one of the most amazing nights" of Jade's life. 

He asks her what she thought about Arlington and she says she can tell when he talks about it he feels insecure about where he's from. So she tells him not to feel ashamed of where he loves to be. He thinks she wants to be with him in Arlington. He has no idea how unsure about that she is.

Whitney will get a slightly more exciting date with Chris in Des Moines. She does a running straddle jump when she sees him, which is weirdly sweet. Plus 3.

They visit an art club featuring photography of people in love and then he tells her they're going to be taking pictures around the city. She says they're documenting their love around the city. 

Basically that means they walk around kissing and taking pictures. Plus 4.

Jade tells the other girls about her date with Chris and when she gets to the part about meeting Chris' parents and standing in the middle of the field Britt starts to cry. Not just cry. Bawl. 

Carly's not feeling Britt's tears. She suggests a road trip and Britt's all "welllll, I don't knoooooow....." Minus 7. It doesn't take long to convince her to get in the car and drive up the road.

Whitney hopes the photos they took on their date will be photos they can share with their kids. Way to get ahead of yourself there, girlie. 

The girls on the road trip aren't laughing anymore. They've reached Arlington and they are...not impressed. There are half smiles in the car and tumbleweeds on the road. These girls are so confused and shocked that Arlington is so small.

This, like, cannot be possible. 

So they park and decide to walk around the "town" followed by a camera crew, giggling nervously, and doing laps of the city. Everything's closed but Carly looks through the window of the Methodist church where she knows Chris and his family attend and sees the same picture of Jesus hanging inside the foyer that hangs on the walls in her grandparents' house. She's totes on the right track to making babies with Chris, guys. 

Britt approaches a local and asks if there's a good place to eat. "Not in Arlington." Someone else asks what people do in Arlington and the native says "go somewhere else..." That's telling. Minus 9.

Becca says she loves the little town and it makes her want to pop out babies ASAP. Kaitlyn jokes that's a requirement for living there. Britt pretends to be interested in the town. 

Chris says this is one of the best dates of his life and Whitney seems to have forgotten that this is not actually Chris's hometown. His hometown is three hours away from where they are. 

Three of Chris's best friends meet them for drinks and they're enamored with her use of "y'all." She gives them hugs. 

Minus 8 for Chris's friend dropping the "for all the right reasons." Plus he asked "do you love him?" with Chris sitting right next to her. One of the friends asks if she has hesitations about living there and she says no. She knew what she was getting herself into when she signed up for the show. 

The friends give Whitney their blessing. Plus 10.

Britt's only report on Arlington: "This town is very small." Apparently, Britt told Carly and Kaitlyn that she couldn't see herself living in Arlington, "NO WAY." But she sings a different song with Jade. A sunset changed her heart.

Britt, Carly, and Kaitlyn get a group date. Carly hates Britt. Hates her enough to make a hand puppet with which she can act out her hatred. Minus 4.

Chris kicks his buds off the date and Whitney says "let's hug it out!" before they leave. Chris loves that his friends loved Whitney. After they kiss a lot, Whitney says she needs to tell him some things about her family dynamics. 

Her mother passed away and she doesn't have a relationship of any kind with her father. Her mom died from a blood clot during a routine procedure at 50 years old. So sad. Basically, what she's saying is that there's not going to be a mom or a dad for him to meet should he choose her for a hometown date. This is also why she's looking for a man who is close with his family. 

Chris says he wants to show her something and takes her outside where one of the pictures they took earlier that day has been painted onto the side of a building in Des Moines. Plus 15.

Annnnnd, Whitney's in love.

Whitney's telling Becca and Jade all about their date and their mural and Becca gets chills. Jade's a little upset thinking about the fact that she had a great date but Whitney had a greater date and also JADE DID NUDE MODELING FOR PLAYBOY. Dun dun dunnnnnn.

She hasn't told Chris yet, but the pictures are out there. She can't ever UN-pose for Playboy. Her dad found out from his co-workers and Jade's worried about Chris's family finding out first. 

Maybe that explains the socks Jade's always wearing. Wonder if it was a collegiate issue.

Chris brings Carly, Britt, and Kaitlyn to Wells Fargo Arena for a day of ice skating. Or ice hockey? Just skating. Oh, no. Definitely hockey. 

Britt does the leg hug thing when she waddles onto the ice then they all put on some skates. Carly's determined to get the date rose since Britt and Kaitlyn always seem to get the group date rose. 

Once they finish falling down on the ice, Britt grabs Chris for some time alone and she tells him they drove to Arlington for the day. He's immediately nervous. Carly and Kaitlyn mock her inside on the ice while Britt is outside telling Chris that she didn't like the town at first but that when she was leaving she "really liked it." 

She liked it when she was leavingMinus 19.

Carly's really mad about how fake Britt is being and how she's lying to him. She's outside saying she loved it and he's asking "really?" He's buying what she's selling. For now.

Carly doesn't like fake people so she's going to spend her time with Chris telling him that she doesn't think Britt is being truthful with him. She says she's protective of him because she really likes him and she wants him to be with someone who will make him happy. So she tells him about the previous day's exchange. 

She does a good job of couching it in a way that isn't "choose me, choose me!" but is very legitimately looking out for him. Plus 10.

Now, for the cocktail portion of the group date.

They are in the coolest place I've ever seen but I can't tell if it's a furniture store or an actual bar or what. I see at least 10 items I want to put in my house.

Chris takes Britt first again and she says this week has been hard on her because family is next week. She wants him to meet her family, but only if he wants to meet her family. Her family is going to love him. Plus her whole life is in a couple of blocks! He totes knows about that!

Oh, and here it comes. 

She likes to reinvent herself and this seems wholesome and positive and this is "a good thing to try." That doesn't sound too promising. She says that no matter where she lives, she wants to be a mom. 

Okay, so maybe that wasn't it. 

Kaitlyn thinks Britt isn't being honest with herself and her constant reinvention is because she doesn't know who she is. That's a reasonable assumption. Plus 2.

Kaitlyn gets the next personal conversation with Chris and she says she doesn't doubt them, but she's frustrated. She has a connection, but it bothers her that everyone else has met his sisters or his parents and she feels like she's playing catch-up. Chris says she's stood out to him from day one and he's not joking around. 

He says he has to leave her for a second and he goes to retrieve the rose. Britt is visibly upset and poor Carly didn't even get a chance to talk to him.

Chris says he feels like the luckiest man alive when he's with her and she tries not to cry. She accepts his rose. Plus 9. She's taking Chris home to meet the folks! (You can watch The Bachelor online to see how their visit goes!)

Kaitlyn's pissed. Finger-tapping, sullen mouthed, pissed off. If she could kill Kaitlyn with her eyes, she would. Minus 5.

Chris tries to wrap up the date saying it was a great day and Britt just starts shaking her head at him. When he says they're all amazing women, Carly actually rolls her eyes. She tries to reign things in and thanks him for the time and then says Kaitlyn's a great girl and then Britt breaks in.

So NOW it's happening.

Britt felt vulnerable, she begged for validation, and this is all hard for her to see. She's imagining what it would be like if her husband put her second or third or fourth in line and she really wants her husband to want her. And me me me me me. He's so not your husband yet, girl. Minus 25.

Chris feels like Britt's saying she doesn't want to be there anymore and she says she's saying that she's processing out loud right now because hometowns are coming. Out of respect for Kaitlyn and Carly, he's leaving the conversation because there's nothing more he can say to her in front of them. 

Britt wants to know that the man she brings home to her family will validate her and not just hand that validation off to someone else. Yikes! Way to make the girl sitting next to you feel like a piece of crap. Minus 18.

Carly and Kaitlyn repeatedly tell her she's definitely gotten plenty of validation from him. It's always her. While Britt fake cries into the camera, Carly and Kaitlyn tell Becca, Jade, and Whitney that Britt totally blew it.

They think she's going home. The previews for tomorrow's episode make it clear she's going to do her best to win him over.

EPISODE TOTAL: -30 SEASON TOTAL: -166

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Miranda Wicker is a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

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