Orange is the New Black Season 3 Episode 13 Review: Trust No Bitch

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Doesn't the end always come too soon?

Orange is the New Black Season 3 Episode 13 wraps up the season with a very nearly satisfying conclusion. My only complaint is that we have to wait a whole year to knock down all the pins they set up for us. 

Let's talk about the flashbacks first. Mirroring Orange is the New Black Season 3 Episode 1, instead of focusing on one person, the flashbacks were short vignettes of different characters. I liked the approach and found it effective, but I'd rather the writers had used all of the same characters as in "Mother's Day," or avoided repeats altogether. 

Trust No Bitch - Orange is the New Black Season 3 Episode 13

This time, the flashbacks focused on religion, the other theme of Orange is the New Black Season 3. The most satisfying part of the religion arc had to be Cindy's conversion subplot. What started out as a joke and a way to get decent food has become something profound for her.

I don't think even Cindy realized how much her religious studies had affected her until she was sitting with the Rabbi. The disappointment she felt when she was told her conversion couldn't be completed was palpable, as was her joy in the lake. 

Her journey contrasts with Leanne's efforts to deify Norma. Where Leanne attempted to create a religion in order to provide structure and to make herself feel superior, Cindy ended up converting because she's looking for what is right for her. I really look forward to seeing her continue that journey.

I was really happy when Norma finally shut down the cult. That part of the story never felt quite right. I could buy Leanne building up the church, but Norma's compliance seemed out of character. Her innate kindness doesn't equate to deceptive cult leader. And the toast was just silly.

I have a birthmark on my left butt cheek that's shaped like a scarab. Doesn't make me Cleopatra.

Red

Piper may need to follow Cindy's lead and spend some time reflecting on her decisions. While her takedown of Stella was beyond magnificent, quite frankly she's too whiny to be a crime boss. It's just hard to see where this story is taking Piper besides snooze-ville. 

Caputo also betrayed all his friends in an attempt to make himself happier. I feel like isolation will be a theme next season – Caputo and Piper alone at the top and Sophia in the SHU, contrasted with the over populated prison. Sometimes we feel the most alone when we're in a crowd. 

The exploration of motherhood was followed through to its logical conclusion with Daya and Aleida. Daya ultimately forgave her mother, and while Aleida may have had some valid points to make, I thought her interference went too far. The decision should have been solely Daya's. 

Daya: You make it sound like she's drugs.
Aledia: The worst kind. She's gonna make you feel better than you ever thought you could, then drain all your money and ruin your life. You're always gonna need her. And even when you hate her, you're gonna love her.

Let's just hope we don't have another three-year prison pregnancy with Lorna. Her proposal and wedding were hilariously on point for her character, but a baby would take it too far. Anyway, I'm not convinced Vinny isn't going to end up in jail for Christopher's beat down.

Soso's family also grew. I love that she finally found her place. The character really bloomed this season, and she deserves some comfort. And am I the only one that thinks Soso and Poussey could be good together? That hand holding in the lake was so cute!

The escape to the lake was a really good montage. I love how so much happens with barely anybody speaking. It highlights how great the cast and the production team all are that they can tell so many stories without a word. 

As for the stories left open, Alex's possible probable murder and what to do with Coates are the most pressing. 

Unless Alex has some hereto unforeseen jujitsu skills or some extraordinary luck, it seems safe to say that she bites it in the garden shed. I'd have liked a more clear resolution, especially since the implied death trick was pulled in Orange is the New Black Season 2 Episode 13. Crazy Eyes would call that derivative. 

And while Boo and Pennsatucky's plan to get Penn out of van duty was a bit inspired, their lack of foresight has left others open to being preyed on -- mainly sweet Maritza (who we desperately need a back story on). It's really too bad Pennsatucky didn't commit the vehicular homicide she discussed on their first van ride together.

Next season will be packed with new stories as well. We already know that Martha Stewart Judy King will be joining our crew, and Daya's baby will need a new home after all. There's also the situation with the guards, which is sure to get worse before it gets better. Only 51 more weeks (pray to Norma it's not longer) until we find out what happens next!

Other thoughts:

  • I loved how Ginsberg asks the rabbi if he knows Aimee Tatelbaum. Totally something my mother and aunt do!
  • Who else was totally afraid Daya's baby was going to be hurt or killed in the DEA raid?
  • It's too bad that Soso's frankness with Healy was offset by Red and his wife. That man needs a wakeup call. 
  • Okay, it looks like I was wrong about Lolly. Something's still off there, though. She picked out the toothpick chewing guard awfully fast. 
  • What are the odds Piper ends up with hepatitis from her prison tat? She is due some serious karma after what she pulled.

Trust No Bitch Review

Editor Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.9 / 5.0 (22 Votes)

Elizabeth Harlow is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

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Orange is the New Black Season 3 Episode 13 Quotes

I ruined my miracle by getting thrown in the SHU. Which was seriously the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Even counting that time I smoked crack thinking it was meth and then took four shots of Everclear and ate cat poop.

Angie

I have a birthmark on my left butt cheek that's shaped like a scarab. Doesn't make me Cleopatra.

Red