Scream Queens Season 2 Episode 7 Review: The Hand
Caralynn Lippo
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Did Scream Queens push the limits of believability too far and jump the shark completely?
Scream Queens Season 2 Episode 7, picking up shortly after the events of Scream Queens Season 2 Episode 6, found the Chanels (and Hester) discovering that Cassidy is, in fact, the Green Meanie killer – or at least one of them. Yet, #3 made the eyebrow-raise-worthy decision to keep quiet about her new boyfriend being a murderer.
Uhhhh... what?
Look, I don't tune into this series every week for the realism. I tune in because of the ridiculous and fun over-the-top characters' hilarious one-liners and antics. But somehow, Chanel #3 acknowledging that her dude is an actual serial killer and choosing not to turn him in is a little too much for me.
I get that her intention is to "distract" him from thinking about death and murder 37 times (or less) per day, with the hope of eventually quelling his desire to kill entirely but... Really?
We (and #3) don't even know what Cassidy's actual motive is in the murders yet. We can assume he wants to avenge his father by getting the hospital shut down but that hasn't been stated. As far as #3 knows, Cassidy is just a murder-happy psychopath.
Plus, it just doesn't make sense – Cassidy is a doctor at the hospital and is actively helping to cure patients there, which is working directly against a motive of getting the hospital shut down. There has to be something more behind Cassidy being the Green Meanie.
I guess we'll just need to wait and find out what it is, even though I think it's absurd that #3 is taking his "I promise not to kill you guys" at face value.
Then again, these are the girls who have comfortably welcomed a convicted psychopathic murderer (Hester) back into their fold, so maybe I'm the one who's crazy.
Ironically, regardless of this absurdity of #3's decision and how it nearly pulled me out of the show, I loved pretty much everything about the #3/Cassidy subplot this week. #3's dialogue was on fire this week, with one hilarious moment after another.
Chanel #3: I don't think I could make a future with a guy who's actually dead. Am I supposed to raise little half-dead/half-alive children?
Cassidy: I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were prejudiced against dead people.
Chanel #3: Everyone is, I'm just willing to admit it.
#3's decision to test Cassidy for Cotard delusion (again, a real thing), which would explain why he thinks he's dead, led to the discovery that Cassidy was not, in fact, dead but was, in fact, the Green Meanie killer. That #3's test consisted of various psych tests like Myer Briggs in conjunction with Cosmopolitan personality quizzes was absolutely perfect for that character. #3 is an accidental genius.
Also brilliant: That she convinced #5 not to say anything about Cassidy being the murderer by giving her candy.
I'm in love with the Green Meanie, and I don't know what to do about it. I bribed #5 with delicious candy so she wouldn't say anything, but maybe I should just turn him in.
Chanel #3
Oh, sorry, not just any candy – delicious candy.
The B-story about Cassidy and #3's dioxin-poisoned patient and his unwanted girlfriend served as a nice parallel to what Cassidy and #3 were currently going through. In the end – after a quick Munchausen syndrome by proxy red herring fake out – the patient was cured and walked out sans-clingy-girlfriend (which is what he went way out of his way to get in the first place).
But the Cassidy/#3 romance deviated from theirs. Cassidy chose to resist Hoffel's threats to turn him in and not kill Chanel and #3. Or, at least, that's what he's telling #3.
I promise to do everything I can to make sure that this all ends up okay.
Cassidy [to #3]
It was definitely a romantic moment, even though Taylor Lautner in this role has the charisma of a piece of chalk. It also doesn't seem like he's double-crossing her, but it remains to be seen how Cassidy will solve this problem.
If Cassidy doesn't kill Chanel, Hoffel will turn him in. Will he kill Hoffel himself to silence her? Or will he find someone else to do Chanel in and somehow work out a way to prevent #3's death? The former option makes a lot more sense and would be simpler, so I don't expect that Hoffel is much longer for this world.
The Cassidy/#3 stuff was nice, but the heart of "The Hand" was, fittingly, Dr. Holt and his evil hand.
Holt was rapidly losing control over his maniacal appendage, due to the fact that the hand had apparently gained sentience – it was voiced by Don Rickles (WONDERFUL addition), and it realized that depriving Brock of sleep allowed it freer reign over its own actions.
Between being completely sleep-deprived and regularly attempting to murder Chanel whilst trying to also have sex with her, things couldn't get much worse for Brock. Of course, Munsch then demanded that Holt perform a practically-impossible surgery and things indeed got much, much worse for him.
In the end, Brock was able to pull through and finish the limb removal/heart transplant (one-handed!), with a little help from the Chanels calming him with his favorite childhood tune, "99 Red Balloons." As usual, this show's use of music (and particularly '80s music) is impeccable.
Brock "opening up" to Chanel furthered their relationship, but that, unfortunately, won't last long.
I invited Chanel over for a romantic dinner, because I could really use a little sookie-sookie.
Dr. Brock Holt
In an apparent gesture of good will, Cassidy presented Brock with a hand that he claimed was the male hand from Anna Plasaince's male subsumed conjoined twin and offered to replace Brock's evil hand with it. Except a woman having a male conjoined twin is medically impossible. So that either means the writers goofed or Cassidy is lying about whose hand that is.
The latter option seems more likely, especially since the closing scene showed that even Brock's new hand is still trying to kill Chanel.
Did Cassidy take the new hand from some dude who was also a murderer, so that Brock would take care of killing Chanel and he could *technically* keep his promise to #3 while still fulfilling his promise to Hoffel to kill Chanel? So many questions!
In other news, there were two more Green Meanie murders this week. For both, it's unclear which of the three known Green Meanie masked killers – Hoffel, Cassidy, and Random Unknown Third Person – offed each of them. The first victim was Chanel #10, she of the extra-long intestines, who was left brain-dead specifically so that her heart could be used for Brock's surgery.
Given that Dean Munsch was all about having that surgery bring positive press to the hospital, it seemed pretty clear that Munsch orchestrated or actually performed that one killing. It's way too convenient otherwise. But did she just don the Green Meanie outfit that one time in order to get the heart she needed, or is she actually the third killer?
The editor Slade, who was observing the surgery to write about it, met his end, courtesy of another Green Meanie attack, when he was calling someone named Arthur to demand that they come down to the hospital to investigate the ethical violations happening there.
That one also seemed like it could've been a Munsch killing (to prevent negative press on the hospital from getting out).
Stray thoughts:
- Even I, a simple TV reviewer, know offhandedly (ha!) that it is medically impossible to have an opposite-gender conjoined twin. Anna Plaisance's conjoined twin hand couldn't have been male. How did Brock not catch Cassidy's lie?! He went to Harvard, remember?
His password is "I went to Harvard"?
Hoffel [about Dr. Brock Holt]
- According to the promo for Scream Queens Season 2 Episode 8, Wes Gardner (Grace's dad and Dean Munsch's former boo) will be returning to the fold. This lends support to my theory that Wes (or even Grace) could be the mystery third Green Meanie killer – after all, if Hester's dad or half-sister is the one doing the murderer, it makes complete sense that she'd know that killer's identity.
- There was far too little of Hester in this installment. She had that great moment where she slyly hinted to Chanel that Brock wasn't "the Green Meanie type" (still insisting that she knows who the killer is but won't tell them), but that was about it for her.
- Speaking of Hester, I loved hearing Chanel reinvoke her original Neckbrace nickname! Ah, Scream Queens Season 1 memories...
- What does Cassidy's mother know of all this? Essentially, what is Cassidy's game plan here? I'm so in the weeds with this one.
- Brock's hand using its martial arts knowledge to save them both from the Green Meanie attack was a great scene. Really well-performed by John Stamos. I mean, he's not quite Bruce Campbell as Ash in Evil Dead 2, but it's still pretty damn good evil-hand-acting.
What did you think of "The Hand"? Leave me a comment below, and watch (or re-watch) Scream Queens online here at TV Fanatic anytime!
Caralynn Lippo is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.
