No one does a dinner party like a Real Housewife.
The Real Housewives of New York City Season 9 Episode 4 picked up right where we left off last week with Sonja arriving at Ramona's dinner party in the Hamptons ready to confront her.
It's Tinsley's first time meeting Dorinda, and she's nervous because she knows Sonja is fighting with her.
I don't think there's anything possibly free about staying at Sonja Morgan's house. So I think Tinsley may not be paying with benjamins, but she's definitely paying in other ways.Dorinda
It takes about 10 seconds for Tinsley to bring up her arrest and Dorinda almost chokes on her drink. She assures her that no one is going to judge her because everyone in his group has messed up, and she's not wrong. (See seasons 1-8 or the NY Post).
There's not a person in this room who hasn't fucked up.Dorinda
It's also clear that Tinsley is going to bring up her arrest as many times as Liz from The Bachelor brought up sleeping with Bach Nick at Jade and Tanner's wedding last season.
Reality TV is nothing if not repetitive and thorough.
Carole tells Sonja about the dinner from hell the night before and Ramona's comments about Bethenny's naked scene in a film. Sonja makes an excellent point that if Sonja's daughter is doing well, Bethenny's daughter has nothing to worry about.
Dorinda tells Sonja that she is staying at both LuAnn and Ramona's houses on different nights, and Sonja is upset that Ramona isn't letting her and Tinsley stay at her house.
The conversation quickly changes to Sonja talking to the press about Dorinda and LuAnn, and Dorinda loses it. She immediately starts yelling at Sonja and accusing her of saying mean things about her.
Why don't you stop getting vaginal rejuvenation and put an E-Z Pass on that vagina with your Holland Tunnel.Dorinda
It's safe to say Dorinda is on fire with the one-liners tonight.
Go get a bag of cucumbers and bananas and continue on, honey.Dorinda
Carole points out that this isn't eighth grade, but you could have fooled me.
The best part of Ramona's dinner parties is even after nine seasons of being on this show, she still invites her real friends to her parties and their reactions are priceless. The man who proposed a toast to health and happiness is my idol.
Carole is also killing it by laughing hysterically in between bites of pasta.
The low blows continue and Dorinda goes after Sonja working for Donald Trump in the 90s and tells her to go fix her toilet. My personal favorite was the Grey Gardens reference that inspired Sonja's tagline this season (there's nothing grey about my gardens!")
Tinsley tries to defend Dorinda, but you can tell none of the women are listening to her. You have to earn your stripes, new housewife.
Bethenny pulls up in her car to pick up Carole, and she asks her to wait 10 minutes so Carole can talk to Ramona about the election party.
I'm like Joe Pesci in the van in Home Alone.Bethenny
She asks Ramona not to come to the election party because she doesn't want any drama and she doesn't think she wants to come anymore. Ramona claims she did want to come and is now offended that she is being uninvited.
It ends badly with Ramona just writing Carole off and telling her she isn't her friend anymore.
Meanwhile, Dorinda is still going off about Sonja, but this time to Candace Bushnell... the author of Sex and the City!
I'll tell you how I'm doing, not well bitch!Dorinda
I wonder if Candace is collecting material for her next book.
There's no more "you go low, I go high." I'm not doing that anymore, I'm sorry Michelle Obama, I tried. It doesn't work.Dorinda
Although, Carrie Bradshaw had a little more class than these ladies (sorry, Countess!)
The next morning Ramona is angry about Bethenny not coming to her dinner party and Carole uninviting her to the election party. She says you should never uninvite anyone anywhere, and the show flashes back to Ramona telling Carole she uninvited Sonja to stay at her house.
Per usual, the Bravo editors are shady and perfect.
Tinsley and Sonja arrive at LuAnn's brunch, and eavesdrop on the ladies' conversation before they walk in.
Dorinda approaches Sonja and they decide they are fine now because they both got everything off their chest. Tinsley points out that she has never seen someone go as crazy as Dorinda and then have everything be fine the next day, so clearly she hasn't watched a season of this show before.
The ladies return to the city, and it's only a matter of time before they need to get together for dinner again.
Tinsley goes out with Dorinda and LuAnn, and doesn't tell Sonja. They warn her that she should probably be honest with Sonja and that everyone should be able to hang out together, but Tinsley isn't worried.
She's more concerned with talking about her mugshot.
Dorinda also mentions the surprise birthday party she is planning for Ramona, and is worried the women will spill the secret. I don't know what she has to worry about. Ha.
Meanwhile at home, Sonja gets ready to meet up with her new love, "Frenchy," by cleaning her underwear. Never change, Sonjarita.
Bethenny goes to Carole's house and meets her new kittens, Baby and Baby. In case you didn't know, her dog is also named Baby.
Carole's a cat lady now.Bethenny
As Bethenny pointed out, Carole has written multiple novels, but can't name three pets. I mean, what would Hillary think of her lack of creativity? (Gasp!)
They briefly talk about their relationships, and everything is the same as always. Bethenny's ex-husband is still evil, and Carole and Adam have minimal issues.
It doesn't take long for Sonja to find out that Tinsley had dinner with LuAnn and Dorinda, and I feel like Tinsley should have learned more from her cameo on Gossip Girl on how things spread.
Tinsley overhears Sonja complaining to her staff about Tinsley leaving her out, and confronts her. They bicker, but end up laughing about Tinsley giving Sonja a candle for bringing a guy home.
I think these two are a roommate match made in heaven.
Don't forget you can watch The Real Housewives of New York City online via TV Fanatic.
Sarah Hearon is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.