We're just three hours into the new season and already so much has happened.
American Horror Story Season 7 Episode 3 moved quickly into the aftermath of Pedro's accidental murder. But for the most part, the larger scheme of things (and particularly Kai's exact motives and M.O.) remained as obscure as ever.
The installment opened on a pair of characters we'd never seen before: Rosie (another of Dr. Vincent's patients) and her husband.
Rosie, who had a fear of being trapped in a casket (I think?), apparently overcame her fear with help from Dr. Vincent. Unfortunately, she and her hubby met a gruesome death in the exact manner of her previously-debilitating phobia. What are the odds?
Well, the odds are slim – unless, of course, Dr. Vincent is in on it with the clown gang.
Ally: Look, I know that I'm supposed to be responsible for all the positive and negative energies that come into my life...
Dr. Vincent: Who told you that?
Ally: I don't know — Instagram?
This opening scene seemed, to me, to exist solely for the point of clarifying that Dr. Vincent is yet another character in cahoots with Kai. Otherwise, how would the clowns have known precisely the most terrifying way to kill Rosie?
The clowns seem to be "feeding" off of fear, which is Kai's whole shtick.
Between Rosie's death and Dr. Vincent's exasperated dealings with Ally over the phone later in the hour, it's obvious that something's not quite kosher with that guy.
Elsewhere, where were given specific confirmation that Meadow and Harrison have been working alongside Kai – but not exactly for the same reasons.
Meadow: You don't belong here. We want racists out of our neighborhood.
Ally: Your neighborhood? We were here first!
Meadow: Tell that to the Native Americans!
Billy Eichner and Leslie Grossman continued to be two of the very best parts of this season. They manage to be hilarious, creepy, and infuriating all at once.
Kai's separate conversations with each half of the couple were enlightening.
Meadow revealed her fears that she will never be intimate with a man again and will remain childless. Harrison, on the flip side, confessed that he wished Meadow were dead because he doesn't want to be stuck with her for the rest of his life. Yikes. Sorry, Meadow.
It remains to be seen whether Kai and/or some portion of the clown gang actually murdered Meadow – or if the big scene Harrison made at the end was just for show. Perhaps the group is faking Meadow's death to further the plot of driving Ally crazy.
It's becoming clearer and clearer every week that Kai's whole agenda is to drive Ally mad to the point where she "converts" and sees the truth of his ways. For whatever reason, she was chosen as a "project" for him.
This is obviously not confirmed yet, but my interpretation is that Kai intends to wear Ally down until she falls in line with his ideals. As I've mentioned already, he and his group of clowns could easily have killed her already if that was the plan. Instead, Kai appears to want to recruit Ally.
This was made increasingly apparent with the whole protesters' situation. Kai approached Ally to validate her fears and assure her that she was well within her rights to shoot Pedro.
(This, of course, is completely absurd – Pedro approached her locked and barred front door holding a box. Ally was completely out of line and out of her mind to react so suddenly and so violently.)
But to further drive home the whole Kai-is-savior idea, we saw him literally "part" the crowd of protestors, taking care of the situation as he assured Ally he would. Slowly but surely, she's beginning to see him as someone on her side, rather than the coffee-throwing asshole who accosted her and her wife.
If Ally had been in a sounder frame of mind, perhaps she might have realized just how weird it was that Kai was able to dissipate the angry mob with hardly a word.
Speaking of Ally: Things continued to go downhill for her in regards to her personal life, on multiple fronts.
Perhaps the biggest development was Ivy discovering Ally's cheating incident with Winter, courtesy of Oz getting sent a link (that wouldn't close) of Ally and Winter in the bathtub.
That poor kid is going to be so traumatized by the end of this season.
Ivy, understandably, flipped out and moved to take Oz and leave Ally as soon as she saw the clip. I can't say I blame her – Ally has been a lot (too much) to deal with all season long. Finding out that Ally cheated with Winter was just the straw that broke the camel's already-fragile back.
Ivy: Ally... this thing you're becoming. This is not the person I married. I have been sensitive to your fears. I've dealt with the mental imbalances. I even tolerated the fact that you voted for Jill fucking Stein instead of Hillary.
Ally: You said you weren't going to bring that up again...
Ivy is either yet another character in cahoots with Kai and the clowns or the most unfortunate, put-upon spouse in all of American Horror Story's history.
A newly-introduced subplot found Ally also battling the paranoia induced by a mystery chemical truck. The truck apparently sprayed something that killed dozens of birds and also gave Ally a nosebleed when she ingested it, so nothing good can come of this.
If the chemical truck is yet another facet of Kai's plan, I have to start wondering – how is this random guy affording to pull off this elaborate mind-f*ck of a plot?
Despite the freakiness of Ally dealing with mystery chemicals and continuing to spiral because of them, I had to laugh at her weak and silly attempt at confronting the truck driver:
Stop! Stop! I am a citizen of the United States and I demand to see your permit. What chemicals are you spraying into our air? The public has a right to know! Stop!Ally
How goofy can this chick get? Pretty much everything she says is eyeroll-inducing at this point.
- I'm not really sure how Sarah Paulson kept such a straight face while Meadow and Harrison were yelling at Ally in sombreros. So silly.
- The whole "Ally voted for Jill Stein" thing will never not be amusing.
- What's the deal with Detective Samuels? It seems pretty clear he's in cahoots with Kai, but is his new "friendship" with Harrison part of that?
- Will Winter finally be fired now? I mean, she's already let Oz go hang out with stranger neighbors, led a creepy naked man into her employers' home, and showed the kid a bunch of actual murder footage. Maybe an affair with Ally will be the last straw!
- RIP, Mr. Guinea and your heteronormative name – we hardly knew ye. Death by microwave is a rough (and gruesome) way to go.
What did you think of "Neighbors from Hell"? Share your thoughts by commenting below, and don't forget that you can watch American Horror Story online here at TV Fanatic anytime!
Caralynn Lippo is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.