Modern Family Season 9 Episode 14 Review: Spanks For The Memories

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On Modern Family Season 9 Episode 14, Jay and Gloria are going through a romantic dry spell, Mitch is excited about a new job and Alex is stressing about a new internship with M.I.T.

For the second week in a row, we're focused on Jay and Gloria's sex-life.

Maybe the whole role-playing thing last week didn't do the trick? It's not the storyline I'm used to from these two, and I have to say I'm not too crazy about it.

Gloria Spanks Jay - Modern Family Season 9 Episode 14

Mitch: Who are these men?
Cam: What are these things I don't do?

Ever since Manny went to college, Jay and Gloria have been off. We have the gruff Jay and the hot-headed Gloria, now it feels like Jay has no confidence in himself and Gloria is distracted.

What happened to Jay? Is it because he retired? I don't know if it's an intentional thing, but I hope Jay starts acting like Jay again.

As for Gloria, she's not the same with Joe as she was with Manny and maybe that's a good thing, but they hardly interact in mommy/son scenes. It would be nice to see some more of those or some family moments with the three of them.

The waiter! I knew he was flirting with you!


Phil for the second week in a row is father of the year with the best advice for Alex. They're not painting him in a goofy light anymore. Ok, yes, he works in a magic shop and was playing a board game to settle a score, but that's not the goofy we're used to from Phil.

Related: Modern Family Season 9 Episode 15 Review: Written In The Stars

He's usually doing some silly thing that is just Phil. You know what I mean. Ever since the family has gone their separate ways, the dynamics are way different and he doesn't feel like the same Phil. He feels like a watered down Phil. Answer the phone with a "Jello," hatch some ducks, something! We miss you!

You realize she's not that big, right? It's mostly just hair.


Speaking of families going separate ways, Hayley and Luke must have skipped town cause we didn't see hide nor hair of them. And no one mentioned them.


I do like the advice Phil gave to Alex, giving her permission to enjoy her life. She's always so busy overachieving, it doesn't occur to her that this is her life. Remember when her jaw went out of wack from stress when she was studying or when she was so tired from studying, she was running into walls?

Phil Gives Advice - Modern Family Season 9 Episode 14

Alex, listen to your dad. Relax a bit. You've earned it!

Where do I start with Mitch and Cam? They've turned into such shallow dudes! I expect that from their friends because that's what they're all like and have been since the beginning. They used to complain about how shallow their friends were for crying out loud. Hello, Pepper Saltsman!

Throwing a Party - Modern Family

But look at them now, having a party to rub Mitch's job in their friend's faces. Come on. That's not what they're all about. Stop. Just stop.

Cam, be silly and bring up the farm.

Mitch, be practical with the occasional letting loose to show you're trying.

Just please please stop going down shallow and super snarky road. You're turning into the 'friends' you couldn't stand not too long ago.

Lilly? Anyone seen Lilly? Lilly!! **Cue Cam's most shrill panic voice**

I do like the interactions between Phil and Alex. She's being highlighted a bit this season and I like that. She's still a bit condescending for my taste, but that's Alex, what are ya' gonna do?

We're not seeing a whole lot of family time overall on the show and, yes, that happens in real life when kids get older, but it feels to me like they're winding down the show altogether.

What the hell?! I'll clean my room. I promise!


I hope that's not the case because Modern Family is a great comedy show, it really is and I would hate to see it go. It just feels like the writers are winding down. Does anyone else feel that way?

I miss the family moments in all three families and them together as one. We need more of those because the show is starting to feel somewhat disjointed and it's bothering me.

Come on. Tell me if I'm being too sensitive.

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I think the only time I laughed out loud was when Joe yelled, "What the hell!?" Otherwise, I just felt like I wasn't watching the Modern Family I know and love.

I demand you bring back the ducks, give Phil funny one-liners, have more family moments and stop Mitch and Cam from spiraling into self-absorbed madness.

How is everyone else feeling about Mitch and Cam? Do you think the lack of family togetherness is affecting the show? Are you getting the feeling the show's going to end? 

Have you missed any episodes of the show? We've got you covered!

Catch up right here, watch Modern Family online and remember to come back to read more about Modern Family and lots of other great shows on TV Fanatic!

Spanks For The Memories Review

Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.2 / 5.0 (32 Votes)

Kim Russell was a staff writer for TV Fanatic. She retired in January 2019.

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Modern Family Season 9 Episode 14 Quotes

The waiter! I knew he was flirting with you!


Mitch: Who are these men?
Cam: What are these things I don't do?