Family Guy Season 16 Episode 19 Review: The Unkindest Cut

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A parent's love knows no bounds as Quagmire learned on Family Guy Season 16 Episode 19 after he lost his penis in a shark attack.

It was more than a little weird that Quagmire was willing to have his dad's member transplanted to him, but for a guy whose life revolves around his penis, it makes perfect sense.

Living Without It - Family Guy

The fact that Ida saved his penis also raises eyebrows since why keep something that you were so desperate to rid yourself of? Maybe Ida explained it, and I missed it, but I just don't get it.

And, of course, the logic of being able to actually transplant a penis that had been unused and frozen for so long is another story, but we'll just go along with the fantasy.

I was expecting Quagmire to be much more frantic than he actually was when it happened, but he was pretty chill about it. He was probably in shock.

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Still, I can't get over the fact that he would be so willing to take on his dad's penis. If it was that easy to transplant them, why wouldn't he try to find one that didn't belong to his own father?

Quagmire's got enough money that he could probably pick and choose one that would fit his needs, but is penis transplants even a thing?

I just did a quick research and got lost for a few moments. There have only been a few transplants but there was a highly successful transplant that just happened last month at John Hopkins. It was quite a fascinating read.

Ventriloquist Quagmire - Family Guy Season 16 Episode 19

The effects of not having his penis eventually got to Quagmire. The idea of never having sex again was enough to send him over the edge, and he was ready to kill himself before the guy's intervened.

While the story of Quagmire's penis was odd, the story surrounding the penis loss was hilarious.

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At first, I thought Peter trying to get the boat into the water was going to become another chicken fight or hurt knee scene, which I find incredibly stupid and not funny, but the wait was worth it when Peter just decided to drive the whole car into the lake to get the boat in there.

That was such a Peter thing to do.

And why would Cleveland even go on the water if he was going to turn into Gremlin city if he got wet? Cleveland is such a weird character.

Actually, Cleveland made me laugh a few times this episode. Or at least the ridiculous race references at the beginning with Good Times and at the hospital when Dr. Hartman told Peter the bad news that his friend was black.

The Boat - Family Guy Season 16 Episode 19

Quagmire wasn't a very good ventriloquist, but he was at that point where what happened finally pushed him to the edge. 

What was Quagmire's life without having constant sex? He may be a successful pilot, but it's his extracurricular activities that truly defined him.

It made sense that he wanted to end it all, but lucky for him his friends stopped him from pulling the trigger before it was too late.

The handoff of the gun to Joe, Cleveland and then Peter with their individual thoughts was interesting. It wasn't surprising for Peter's thoughts to use the gun to get free tacos.

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The other cutaway I really enjoyed was the one about the New York pizza guy. I'm from Chicago and, sorry, but nothing compares to Chicago pizza.

New York pizza pales in comparison, but I do understand the snobbery attached when you travel. It's a real thing.

There's nothing like hometown pizza when you're away, though there was a place when I visited New Orleans that surprised me with the quality of their pie. 

But that's a rarity. It never happens like that.

The Golden Penis - Family Guy Season 16 Episode 19

Back to the story. 

I hope that Quagmire doesn't start becoming weird now that he's got his dad's penis. He's sort of being weird already if he's telling women the real owner of his penis, but I also wonder if he's lying to the guys because didn't Dr. Hartman say he wasn't going to be able to urinate or have sex?

So what's the point of a transplant if you can't even use it? Maybe this episode was written before that miracle transplant occurred that I linked to at the beginning of this article.

The whole Mort story was dumb but I did like the Dr. Hartman revelation that he was taking on writing responsibilities for the show and showed us exactly how he liked to flex his writing muscle.

It was an odd installment of Family Guy, but it still succeeded at entertaining this viewer.

What do you think? Did you enjoy "The Unkindest Cut"?

Hit the comments and share your thoughts!

If you need to catch up, you can watch Family Guy online right here via TV Fanatic!

The Unkindest Cut Review

Editor Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
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Rating: 4.4 / 5.0 (13 Votes)
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Family Guy Season 16 Episode 19 Quotes

Peter: Doc. Give it to us straight. What's going on with our friend?
Dr. Hartman: Well, Mr. Griffin, there's no easy way to put this, so I'm just going to come right out and say it. He's black.
Peter: Not that friend. Quagmire.
Dr. Hartman: Oh. Him.

  • Permalink: Oh. Him.
  • Added:

You don't know what that penis meant to me. We did everything together. Everything.