You guys, Dynasty is everything this season.
Those of you not on board with the "weird" Carrington family, you are officially missing out.
There were two paternity revelations on Dynasty Season 2 Episode 3, and they were the butler of all secrets.
It was so juicy; someone should have called Maury.
And all of this at an innocent baby shower, nonetheless.
It's safe to say Steven is going to be in need of therapy for years to come.
I wasn't on board with Kirby when she first arrived at the mansion because everything about her seemed cliched and typical, but man, was I sorely mistaken.
Kirby came in like a wrecking ball sparing absolutely no one, not even her father.
And truthfully, Anders deserved all of it.
Kirby has every right to be angry with the Carringtons, especially Alexis, the woman who purposefully ostracized her all these years to keep her silent.
Alexis may have wanted everyone to believe she was the problem child, but the truth eventually came out after Kirby got it all on camera.
Alexis set the fire in Fallon's room, so Kirby never had a chance to expose what she overheard -- she had an affair with Anders, the man who fathered one of her children.
This isn't the first paternity twist on Dynasty, yet my jaw still hit the floor and stayed there until the very end.
What's worse is that Anders stood by idly throughout all of it, even though deep down inside, he knew Kirby was innocent.
His need to keep the affair a secret overpowered any instinct he had to save his daughter.
It's tricky because he had to choose between his daughter or Blake, the man he thought of like a son for all these years.
If Blake found out about the affair, Anders would be out of a job and a second family.
And he wouldn't be around to see his illegitimate child grow up.
However, Anders finally took the first step in righting his wrongs by standing up for Kirby when Alexis tried to paint her a sociopath, again.
It's the respect she always deserved.
As for the child, though Fallon seemed like the most obvious choice, Anders is Steven's father.
I'm back bitch, and I'm your problem now.Kirby
Fallon is her father's daughter through and through, but there was always a kindness and a levelheadedness about Steven that couldn't have come from either Blake nor Alexis.
I know Alexis is like a cat with nine lives, but I really don't know how she's going to get out of this one.
Firstly, what did she think was going to happen when she paid a therapist to help Kirby unlock her memories?
Isn't that the opposite of what you would want?
Kirby was silenced until Alexis meddled and un-silenced her!
Secondly, she's already hanging on by a thread at the Carrington mansion.
Blake gave her another chance and accepted her into his home and how did she repay him? She publicly humiliated him and his entire family, not to mention she kept the truth about his child from him.
That's not something you just forgive.
Fallon: Besides, my mom used to build a wall on Steven's bed everytime he brought a girl how and it always worked.
Liam: I wonder why.
Steven likely won't forgive Alexis anytime soon either.
In this whole shakedown, he's the true victim.
Not only did he find out his life has been a complete lie, but he also lost out on becoming a father.
The moment Mrs. Daniels realized her future baby wouldn't be a Carrington heir, she washed her hands of the whole family without any remorse.
It turns out that the baby's father is her gynecologist. It's shocking that it isn't the mailman!
Daniels' sudden change of heart was the least surprising part of this whole pregnancy.
Paired with all the other truth-bombs exploding simultaneously, what Steven went through was soul-crushing.
I can see him going into a downward spiral following all these revelations and betrayals.
While I don't necessarily like the thought of Anders and Alexis in bed together, it's refreshing to have some explanation as to why Anders stuck around for so long.
I wouldn't call the Carrington family good people, so his loyalty was always a bit questionable.
I would have expected this twist from Alexis since she's slept with half of the male population in Atlanta, but for Anders, this shines a whole new light on his character.
If he's capable of having an affair with Blake's wife and neglecting his daughter, what else is he capable of? And here he was judging Celia for all of her secrets on Dynasty Season 1.
For once, Fallon's storyline wasn't the juiciest tidbit on television.
The fallout from Uncle Max's death fell a bit flat, but on the upside, we did get to meet Liam's mother.
It turns out that the Van Kirk's get worse with each family additional family member. I can see why Liam decided he was better off changing his name and becoming estranged.
His mother was the most observant and the most unaware person at the same time. She realized off-the-bat that Fallon had a side-piece probably because she's had many in her life and can pick up on the social cues.
Are you here to apologize or just violate my dolce?Mrs. Daniels
However, she was completely blindsided to the greatness that is her son.
In fact, when Fallon stood up for Liam, she realized her feelings for the faux husband were stronger than she was letting on.
It's getting harder to ignore the chemistry between them especially as they spend more time together being close and pretending to love each other.
Fallon's' indecisiveness is slightly irritating as Culhane just made the biggest sacrifice for her and their relationship, and I can see her giving into temptation with Liam.
Uncle Max's attorney Vance handed over the expedited contract to a callous businesswoman, Ada Stone, who was more than ready to use the newfound intel to ruin Fallon unless Culhane became her new consultant.
He gave up his freedom to be someone's bitch so that she wouldn't get charged with fraud and manslaughter. That's love.
It turns out that escorts will talk to anyone willing to pay the highest price.
Sure, rich folks get to prance around in designer shoes and dine on lobster in their private jets, but it's exhausting to be continuously involved in some scandal.
Blake gave off a plethora of "weirdo" vibes as he pursued Cristal Jennings.
In addition to getting way too attached to people he just meets, Blake also doesn't take any time in getting to know them.
When Cristal told him all about Celia's past, he was shocked by how little he knew about his late wife.
Then he wasn't too interested in finding out more about the new Cristal either, which makes it very easy for anyone to scam him.
I don't think Cristal is as innocent as she's playing herself up to be.
I don't just barter for antiques, sweetheart. I barter for power.Ada Stone
She knew exactly what she was doing by flirting with Blake, accepting the designer clothes and hopping on his private jet for a dinner date.
Is her end goal to pursue Blake? Does she want the life she gave Cristal?
I couldn't help but chuckle at how nonchalantly Fallon told Culhane hiring escorts was wrong "morally and professionally." Wave it off; it was no big deal.
Kirby calling Alexis a cow was the simplest yet most direct insult I've ever seen.
Why are rich people always so competitive when it comes to tennis?
- Fallon's smart and savvy, so why wasn't she more discreet when sneaking around the house? Obviously, Liam's mother wanted to catch her indiscretions.
What did you think?
I hope Dynasty continues giving us OMG-worthy twists that have me chugging my baby bottle filled with champagne.
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