The holidays were anything but happy for the Carrington clan on Dynasty Season 2 Episode 9.
I'll file this under Fallon's "things that usually ruin the holidays at the manor."
Though the season has been a bit up-and-down with Celia's death, the addition of new Cristal, and Steven's departure, the writers always redeem themselves with epic cliffhangers and monumental twists.
And there was a boatload of them.
Claudia Blaisdel's crazy antics never disappoint, but there was a point where I just began feeling sorry for her.
How long can the Carringtons entertain themselves at the expense of her deteriorating mental health?
And how long can they can they continue contributing to that deterioration?
Blake tried to take ownership of a child that never belonged to the family because he knew that the FBI wouldn't get involved if they found out little Matthew wasn't blood-related.
Cristal: I'm sorry. Why wouldn't they look for a woman who tried to kill all of you last Thanksgiving?
Fallon: Oh, daddy didn't tell you? He didn't report it to the cops. Instead, he paid to lock her up in a loony bin. Don't worry, they had crafts.
Apparently, if your name carries enough weight, the FBI doesn't "check" the validity of the story.
Blake's pro-active approach made sense considering his history with kidnapped children, but he was out-of-line for most of the episode, especially when he told Fallon that Cristal's blood was on her hands.
Although, I was proud to see him mourning Celia for once instead of just replacing her with a newer model as the series did.
Admittedly, the first half of the episode was a bit of a lull, but that all changed when Claudia climbed up on the roof with that baby.
And even more so when Matthew flew out of her buttery arms.
My jaw dropped all the way down with him.
I was hoping someone had caught Matthew as he plunged the distance, but Claudia holding a doll that she thought was her baby was way juicier.
When you acknowledge that she replaced her missing baby with a doll and didn't even notice, you'll realize how fractured her mental state is.
The Carringtons are absolutely right -- she is not equipped to be a mother for obvious reasons, but they are in no way helping her get better.
No wonder this woman is still spiraling when the family who killed her husband continues to take everything, including her sanity, away from her.
Blake's revenge ploy was evil, but man, Alexis may be the worst of them all.
Alexis is so self-absorbed she willingly put a child in danger to protect her secret dalliance with son/loverboy, Hank.
She went out of her way to prevent the family from finding Claudia, and I'm surprised she didn't attempt to push Claudia off the building to silence her.
But her lowest moment? Preying on Claudia when she was defenseless.
To protect herself, she convinced Claudia that Hank was made up -- another one of her hallucinations.
Claudia is a victim in every sense of the word. Watching Dynasty capitalize on that is a little nauseating, but I guess that's what soap-operas do.
That doesn't mean I don't think Claudia shouldn't be punished for killing Cristal and attempting to kill the Carrington family on Thanksgiving.
Alexis may think she's weaseled her way out of paying for what she did, but Cristal is onto her.
It's only a matter of time before she connects all the dots. For an outsider, she's been surprisingly keen at picking up on Alexis' bullshit.
It may be an unpopular opinion, but the new Cristal doesn't bother me at all. She may be a cheap knock-off with no real motive, but she sticks it to Alexis whenever she can, has really great hair, and she's witty.
Send a card signed, "Ho, ho, ho." I'll know it's you.Cristal to Alexis
If her only purpose this season is to out Alexis' secrets, I'm not upset.
Though, admittedly, I couldn't help but chuckle when Claudia looked at her and asked, "Who are you?"
In a shocking turn of events, it would seem that the only logical people in the manor are Kirby and Sammy.
It's amazing that even with the whole police force, FBI, and Blake's personal security looking for Matthew, it was Kirby who figured it out because of a missing pacifier.
In the words of the psycho Manny, she's smarter than she looks.
Manny as the real kidnapper was a fun little twist, but man, did he really think he could be a better parent while holding a knife to Kirby's throat?
Blake must have really polluted the air in Atlanta!
Thankfully, despite his desire to be a father, Sammy realized that the best thing for little Matthew was to return him to the late Matthew's family. His real family.
Matthew would have all the luxuries at the manor, but Sammy was right that the Carringtons would never see him without seeing his parents.
Then we have the mess that is Culhane.
Honestly, when he collided with the semi-truck, I was hoping the writers finally let go of the dead weight on the show.
Sadly, Culhane survived, though it's not looking good for Jeff Colby.
You know, I grew up in a family where, if you don't stab someone in the back before dinner, you don't get dessert, so I forget sometimes that there are some decent people in this world.Fallon
Colby hasn't had much going for him this season, but he's still a more compelling addition than Culhane.
If I had any love for Culhane left before this episode, it was all out the door when he willingly returned to work for Ada.
Annoying, yes, but not surprising.
You had an out, dude! Why would you continue working for someone as shady, vindictive and manipulative?
If not wearing the pants in a relationship is such a big deal, why is he with Fallon in the first place?
I always thought Culhane was one of the smart ones, but I was sorely mistaken.
Obviously, Ada's whole "I can't believe I finally found someone reliable" act was just that, an act. She was using Culhane to get further revenge on Van Kirk Industries and didn't care less what happened to him.
In fact, she was counting on him to figure it out and botch the shipment so everyone would get caught.
Culhane should have realized that she'd never give up the blackmail on Fallon if she didn't already set other plans, bigger plans, in motion.
And Culhane walked his happy ass right into that trap.
For someone who has despised the Carrington way for years, he should be ashamed that his "get out of jail" card was calling Blake.
The only good that can come from Culhane's disastrous decision-making is that Fallon will finally open her eyes, call off the wedding and find her way back to Liam's loving arms.
Though, I don't think a heroin shipment will bode well for VKI and thus, Carrington Atlantic.
Contrasted with Culhane's mess, Colby's possible death, and the takedown of Claudia, Steven failing to get off his flight from Paraguay didn't have the expected emotional impact.
Since I know that James McKay was written off the show, I wasn't holding my breath for his return.
Claudia: You said you were gonna help me.
Blake: And you said you killed my wife. Everyone up there heard it. Look, I am helping you. I'm helping you understand the pain you caused me and my family by taking away what you love. I know it's cruel, he's only a baby. Will it make things equal? I don't know. But it's a hell of a start.
Plus, I really don't want to see Sammy -- the light and love of the family -- get beaten over the head with a missing husband when he's already down for giving up his "son."
Much like Matthew, Sammy cannot catch a break! First his aunt, then this baby, now his hubby!
So, what did you think?
I commend the writers for always keeping us on our toes and upping the ante with each coming finale.
And for the second year in a row, I am so glad my holidays are a complete snooze-fest in comparison.
Are you happy Matthew is going back to his family? Do you think Claudia will come back with the wrath of a thousand suns? Is Jeff Colby dead? Are Culhane and Fallon done?
Comment us your thoughts, and be sure to watch Dynasty online to get caught up before new episodes return!