We are now five days away from the apocalypse, and in The Umbrella Academy Season 2 Episode 6, The Hargreeves siblings scramble to find a way to stop it!
Five considers his first option when he finds out what it is The Handler truly wants.
That is, after he finds out her connection to Lila.
Five: You know, planting her in a psych ward, taking advantage of my simpleton brother, that was smart.
Handler: Well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Five: She's your--
Handler: Daughter, yes. And she's my only one, so I'd appreciate if you didn't crush her windpipe.
As it turns out, The Handler is planning a coup. Shocker. Did anyone expect anything less?
After being shot in the head and spending three months in a coma, The Handler comes back to The Commission to find she's been demoted. Not only that, but she's been blamed for the actions of Five, Hazel, and Cha-Cha. Of course she wants power back.
If a few people have to die in the process, well so be it. That's business, baby. The smart business woman she is, though, she knows not to get her own hands dirty.
She admits to Lila she is planning on using Five as a scapegoat, which is why she doesn't enlist Lila to be the one to kill the board (despite how much she'd love to). She tells him his family will be safely transported back to 2019 and both apocalypses will go away.
But alas, we knew she couldn't be trusted.
Not only has she admitted she's just using Five, but she's after Diego now, too. All because Lila has gone sweet on him.
Handler: Falling for your mark. It’s so cliché.
Lila: That’s so ridiculous.
Handler: Is it? So, you’d kill him if I asked you to?
Handler: You hesitated.
The pieces are falling together about what she's been up to with the Swedes (and we get to hear them talk for the first time!).
Not only did she falsely tell them Diego is a target, but she also left one of his signature knives at the scene where their brother was blown up. After she set that up, she proceeds to tell them it was Diego who killed their brother.
The Swedes (who we already know are not to be trifled with) are out for revenge. They take the offer to kill Diego happily. Unfortunately, Elliott is caught in the cross fire.
Poor, sweet, gullible, accommodating Elliott. All the man wanted to do was be an assistant to a family of aliens. Instead, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, tortured and killed in an attempt to find Diego.
Elliott deserved better and I wish he made it out of the season alive. May he rest in peace. Getting involved with The Umbrella Academy can be risky.
Elliott isn't the only one who might wish he'd never met a Hargreeves.
Young, sweet, and innocent Dave came to Klaus's mansion to apologize for the fight at the diner. Klaus was gracious, but still attempted to discourage him from joining the army, going so far as to explain how and when he'll die and showing him his dog tags.
Unbeknownst to him, it was too late.
Even if I believed you… which I don’t … this is what I signed up for. It’s an honor to die for my country. That’s what you peaceniks don’t understand.Dave
After the show at the diner, Dave's uncle, Brian, took Dave and made him enlist already. Originally, it wasn't until JFK's assassination that Dave enlisted. Obviously, Klaus's actions have affected the timeline.
Klaus has been spending his time over the past years acting as a prophet because he knows the future. It's how he's built his cult. And yet, he hasn't considered how his family's presence in the past would affect the timeline.
To give him credit, he has tried to leave the cult behind. They just won't seem to let him.
Klaus stood before them and admitted he's a fraud. His so-called "scriptures" are merely song lyrics (called it). Keechie, Jill, and the other followers would not accept that, though, believing this was just another lesson. Yikes.
Keechie: When we admit our own fraudulence, only then can we experience true humility.
Klaus: No, no, no, no, no! That is NOT what I meant.
Speaking of Jill. Ben has a crush!
Ben's unwillingness to leave California and return to Dallas was a mystery. Although he was telling Klaus the people needed him, he mostly seems to disapprove of Klaus's antics. So why was he so intent on returning to them?
Jill is why. It seems Ben has been watching her from the other side and crushing on her hard. It's sweet in a way, but also very sad. Ben has to live a spectator's life and can't truly have interactions with anyone other than Klaus, and Klaus is hard to deal with at times.
Klaus: I can’t take a piss without you nitpicking at my aim.
Ben: Oh without me, you’d be dead in a ditch somewhere.
Klaus and Ben have an interesting relationship. The truth of the matter is the two need each other. Ben is something like an angel on Klaus's shoulder and Klaus is Ben's only companionship. Two peas in a pod.
Another pod is Raymond and Allison. She told him the truth and the man is reeling.
Finding out a black president is coming in 45 years is something men like Raymond have been fighting for in the 1960s. That's hard to believe in and of itself. Allison's powers, however, is something she could prove to him.
Ray: So there was a BLACK president?
Allison: We’ve been through this!
Ray: Like “black” black. In the white house?
The two take a day out and Ray finally believes what she's been saying when he sees it for himself. Allison, though, hadn't used her powers in years, so she got a little carried away.
After they had their fun, Allison went back to Stadtler's to the waiter who spilled coffee on her at the sit-in. Now Raymond is frightened.
Before, it was all fun and games. Making shop owners let him try on suits was fun. Doing good and making change in the civil rights movement could be good. Then he realized her power.
It made him wonder if she'd ever used her powers on him. She said no, but the scary part is there is no way for him to have known if she did. That would give any reasonable person pause.
Raymond is not the only one who was hesitant this episode.
Luther was very much against going to dinner with Reginald. You can't blame him either, after his last encounter with Dear Old Dad.
Luther: Vanya, of all people, you should hate Dad the most.
Vanya: Come on, can he really be that bad?
Luther: Okay, well let’s see. He isolated you from the rest of the family.
Diego: Kept you hopped up on pills.
Luther: And he brainwashed you into thinking you have no powers.
Vanya: Jesus, this guy. I mean, come on, I have to meet him.
In a way, it's a little surprising because Luther has always been the one the most devoted to his dad. After the moon fiasco, though, and what Reginald last said when he saw him, of course Luther is a little disillusioned.
Diego rallied the team together and said "No More Numbers! Team Zero from here on out! We won't let Dad bully us!"
And yet, that's exactly what happened.
From the moment Reginald sat down, he was ruthless. He didn't even bother with a courteous "Hello, how are you all and what are your names?"
Reginald: Not only have you burglarized my lab, set my chimp loose, conned your way into the Mexican consulate, repeatedly stalked and attacked me, but you have on numerous occasions called me…
Klaus: Hey, Pop. How’s it hanging.
He was rude from the beginning, seemingly uninterested in getting to know his adopted children or what they were doing here. It seems his biggest concern is figuring out whatever it was he was thinking when he adopted a motley crew like this.
The hardest moment of this dinner, however, was his exchange with Diego.
He knew of Diego's time in the mental institution and used it to make Diego's claim about the assassination seem completely ridiculous.
You fancy yourself a dogooder. The last good man who will save us from our descent into corruption and conspiracy. This is a fantastic delusion. The sad reality is that you’re a desperate man tragically unaware of his own insignificance.Reginald
David Castaneda's acting in this moment was so good. We could see him visibly crumbling in front of everyone at Reginald's dressing down. You had to be heartless not to feel for him in that moment.
So far, Diego has fought against the idea of their dad's influence. Somehow, though, being back in his presence and hearing his dad chew him out brought back memories of their childhood.
Childhood trauma is not easily forgotten, and Castaneda portrayed that perfectly. After Diego's humiliation, everything just went downhill from there.
In his frustration, Ben chose that moment to try and possess Klaus. Klaus, instead, just looked like he was having a seizure. At that point, Reginald decided he'd seen enough.
Luther, couldn't let him go quietly, though. He chose this moment to rip off his shirt like The Hulk and show Reginald what he'd done to him.
Sir, please. This is not the place.
Everyone's reactions were comical. Allison almost spit out her drink. Five was exasperated. Vanya was in complete shock (probably seeing this for the first time).
Reginald just looked at him with mild interest and redirected his attention Five. The whole scene was crazy and I rewinded it a couple of times to get a good laugh.
To Luther's credit, though, it was his first time standing up to his father. Although, that may not have been the way most people would have chosen.
Luther: For what?
Allison: I think that’s the first time you’ve ever stood up to Dad.
Five and Reginald had their own chat without the others, which surprisingly made Reginald seem softer, more likeable. We even see him smile at Five and share a drink!
Five tries to get help with stopping the end of the world, but Reginald had nothing to offer him. Instead, he basically just shrugged his shoulders.
Five: This world ends in five days if we don’t get out of the timeline.
Reginald: Worlds end. Paleozoic, Jurassic, and so on.
Five: We can do something about this one.
Reginald: Man’s greatest flaw: The illusion of control.
Reginald did seem to give Five some advice that might end up being helpful. Although he consistently told Five no to time travel as a kid, he now counsels him on a different way to approach things.
Things can change in a matter of seconds. Five should take baby steps and try time traveling that way first. No doubt this advice will turn out to be helpful in the coming days.
After Reginald's unproductive dinner, Five has to resort to taking The Handler up on her offer. That will be nothing but trouble.
If they somehow stop the apocalypse, the family might have a chance at settling down and finding their happiness. Vanya and Sissy having that happiness is up in the air.
Sissy returns to Vanya all remorseful because she didn't like how they left things (with her telling Vanya the sweet nothings she whispered to her were literally nothing). Vanya is open to the discussion, because she's a sweetheart obviously.
Whatever this is, Vanya, it’s dangerous. They do not abide… women like us around here. Some of us don’t get to have the life we want. That doesn’t mean we don’t want it.Sissy
Despite my dislike for how she's hurt Vanya, Sissy does have a point. It was not easy being a lesbian in the 1960s, especially not in the South. This is most likely why she was hesitant about moving forward with things before. She can get some slack for this.
Sissy does seem to actually care about Vanya, and they again make plans to run away together. It's dark outside this time, so she better not come back with that "just morning talk" nonsense again or I'm going to want to fight.
Cheating on your husband during that time was dangerous territory. Cheating with another woman is a whole new ball game. Carl followed Sissy and saw them hooking up in the car. The man looked murderous, so the girls better watch out.
Over to you, Fanatics! What did you think of that disastrous dinner?
Is Five making a mistake in teaming with The Handler?
What will Vanya and Sissy do?
Sound off in the comments with your thoughts!
Berea Orange is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.