Honestly, "FFS" is my overriding reaction to how Batwoman Season 2 Episode 11 went down, and it isn't the acronym for the False Face Society this time.
I realize that comic book adaptations are written with a certain level of suspension of disbelief expected, but I'm actually dizzy from the number of facepalms I gave myself in this one short hour.
Maybe they were trying to for the lightweight, high-octane, fast action feel of the Fast and the Furious movies?
If so, they probably should've left out all the other central plot developments and let it stand alone as a fun homage piece because each of them detracted from the overall enjoyability of the show.
The most blatantly contrived piece of plot device is the Bat-Com Luke had Ryan plug into Mary's Porche.
First of all, why wouldn't he just give her an earpiece like EVERY OTHER TIME he's needed to stay in contact with her?
Luke: [Here's] a portable version of the Batmobile's AI.
Ryan: AI? What AI?
Luke: You didn't notice I installed it with the new paint job?
Ryan: What? I thought my driving skills were getting better.
Luke: Yeah. No.
Secondly, WHY would it record their conversation? What possible purpose would that serve when the only person Ryan's contacting is Luke, and he's sitting in the Batcave command center?
Lastly, even if Ryan managed to forget to collect all the equipment from the car after the heist, who believes that inventory-obsessed Luke wouldn't be asking about it the minute she put the car in park?
It's also a bit on-the-nose for Luke to remind Ryan how smart Sophie is in one scene only to have irrefutable evidence that Ryan is Batwoman land in her lap so she doesn't actually have to figure anything out.
Keep in mind, this is the "Crowfie" who lay close enough to breathe up the nose of Batwoman 1.0 and still didn't recognize her as her ex-girlfriend.
In fact, Tavaroff will have to work harder, using the blood sample he collected. So far, he's proven a better investigator than either Sophie or Jacob.
Chances are Ryan's DNA actually is on file after her visit to the hospital with her kryptonite wound so unless Luke's scrubbing the medical records, Batwoman's identity isn't going to be secret much longer.
With the Snakebite supply dried up, we're supposed to assume that Jacob's grumpiness is the result of being unable to get another fix. I guess that works, but he's been a first-class pain in the butt all season so that's pretty subtle shading.
Random thought: does Desert Rose work on curing addictions?
If so, the two major drugs/medicines introduced this season may actually dovetail into a single solution, with the Desert Rose curing Jacob's addiction to remembering a kinder Beth, while Beth's rediscovered memories might provide him with a real-life daughter he only sees when he's high.
And that might cure the grumpiness.
Next on our list of WTH is the revelation that Alice destroyed ALL of the Desert Rose plants on Coryana by setting fire to the one field.
That's retconning the fact Safiyah clearly had plants in pots in her villa. She literally bled on one to demonstrate how to make it bloom.
And Alice asks the "duh" question of why there wasn't a seed bank. "Never seeing the need for one" drops my estimation of Safiyah's cognitive abilities down several notches.
It'll be interesting to see how Ocean plans on getting ahold of a plant that's been planted in the Batcave. Has anyone checked on it lately? How exactly does a plant like that grow without sunlight?
My last major gripe is one that always comes up when heroes and fight masked villains. Sophie and Batwoman had Black Mask completely subdued.
Why in the world wouldn't they unmask him then and there?
It would've been less effort than it took Toto to pull open the curtain on the Wizard of Oz.
But, no, despite knowing he needed Angelique to cook his Snakebite, they wouldn't risk his minion pulling that trigger, so they let him go, mask intact.
So much dumb.
Anyone else notice that he sounded a lot like Jacob when his disembodied voice was interrogating Sophie?
Not so much when he paraphrased Indiana Jones, but he still gets some good lines in.
Now, that is some terrific branding. But you should really consider bringing a gun to a gunfight.Black Mask
I'm appreciating the effort to incorporate moments of levity into some pretty emotionally-wrought storylines this season.
Case in point, Enigma's exit was a true LOL moment. Not only did she incapacitate Alice and Ocean with a single phrase, she tap-danced out the door, leaving a dead patient in the armchair.
No one's ever going to find that guy, are they? So Gotham.
I hope we see more of Enigma this season. She was reasonably unflappable in the face of Alice's crazy and really left the scene on an eye-roll.
Since she may be needed to reinstate Julia's memories (if Julia ever gets tired of Oktoberfest), there's a good chance.
Enigma: You're a monster, Alice. But you're rational. Imagine if you were at the mercy of every dark impulse. Is that what you want?
Alice: I am NOT into self-reflection!
I'm pretty impressed Alice didn't kill her when she started psychoanalyzing her. Alice also demonstrated a weird level of trust in letting her put her under hypnosis since she knows what Enigma is capable of.
Alice's subconscious is obsessed with enclosed spaces, it seems. The Cartwright's basement cell, the box she buried her cat in, the backseat of the car her mother died in, the subway car Ocean lived in, she never has a hallucination in a wide, open space, does she?
So where do all these shenanigans leave us?
Jacob's still an addict, in withdrawal, and lacking his psychologist since she's probably left town. We can expect him to make some (more) poor choices.
Ocean's looking for Batwoman's plant and Black Mask is looking for Ocean and they're all in Gotham so that's going to be a fun reunion.
Sophie knows Ryan is Batwoman and Luke works with Batwoman. She may even figure out that Mary's involved too. That would be a helluva thing. Does she get to keep the braids?
We've got a week off and then Batwoman returns on May 2nd at its new time (9/8c) so be sure to watch Batwoman online and hit our comments with your thoughts and questions!
Diana Keng is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. She is a lifelong fan of smart sci-fi and fantasy media, an upstanding citizen of the United Federation of Planets, and a supporter of AFC Richmond 'til she dies. Her guilty pleasures include female-led procedurals, old-school sitcoms, and Bluey. She teaches, knits, and dreams big. Follow her on Twitter.