I knew it.

Lucas and Sami's makeout session was just a plot point that pushes Sami into Kristen's orbit.

Sami and Lucas have a one-of-a-kind love, but the writers don't see it that way, and on Days of Our Lives during the week of 4-12-21, they already made it clear that these two are not endgame.

Even when Sami was kicking Lucas out of the room before anyone could see him, their scenes were the most fun I've had with this show in a while.

Lucas and Sami's banter is unequaled by anyone except perhaps classic era Jack and Jennifer. For every one-liner that Lucas shoots off, Sami has an equally entertaining answer.

I loved her bemused demand that he stop quoting Elvis while he peppered his sarcastic remarks about the whole situation with song titles.

More important than the substance of the conversation itself: Sami was actually laughing. When has she done that in recent years?

More often than not, Sami is angry and/or anxious. This more relaxed side of her personality only ever seems to come out around Lucas.

And we're supposed to believe they're not soulmates? Please.

When Sami woke up next to Lucas and asked herself what she'd just done, I wanted to shake her and tell her that she'd just slept with the right man for her for once in her life.

Unfortunately, she may never come to that realization because instead of Lucas trying to win her back, we have this silly storyline in which she's doing Kristen's bidding.

I don't get why nobody has figured out that Susan and Kristen have switched places.

Kristen's behavior is so obvious.

On multiple occasions, she's gotten super defensive when Chloe or Brady says anything, even mildly against Kristen, while the real Susan would have agreed wholeheartedly, and her obsession with proving that Chloe wants to steal Brady is 100% a Kristen thing.

The only one who knows that Susan is not Susan is Sami (and now Lucas), and that only came about because Kristen took off her costume before blackmailing Sami.

Come on. Kristen ALWAYS switches places with Susan, and there have been a billion doppelgangers in Salem in just the last 24 months alone, so could everyone wise up already?

Sami: Susan Banks saw us.
Lucas: Susan Banks? You got this, Sami. Going up against her is like Voldemort going against Bugs Bunny.

• Permalink: Susan Banks? You got this, Sami. Going up against her is like Voldemort going against Bugs...

As for Sami, Lucas is right: Sami is Voldemort (though I wish he'd choose a different moniker).

There was no reason whatsoever for Sami to go along with Kristen's blackmail. She has the upper hand here.

Instead of trying to call Brady and giving up when Kristen grabbed the phone out of her hand, all Sami had to do was tell Kristen something like this:

"Go ahead and call EJ. Just know that if you do, I know Brady's number by heart, and I'm sure he'd be thrilled to know you're back in town. Or, maybe I'll tell Nicole. You know what a big mouth she has and how protective she is of Brady."

The Sami I know and love could and would have squashed such a ridiculous, empty blackmail threat in half a second. But lately, Salem is a place where everyone gives in to blackmail, no matter how silly the threat, so Sami backed off for absolutely no reason.

Of course, as a Lumi shipper, I also wish Sami would stop caring whether EJ knew or not,  but that's never going to happen. But her putting Kristen in her place would have been the next best thing.

Sami's plot to have Lucas pursue Chloe is equally ridiculous.

It's not fair to Chloe for someone who's not really into her to pursue her to keep her away from someone else, and it's obvious Lucas is only doing this to get in good with Sami.

He loves her so much that he's willing to sacrifice their relationship and chase after a woman he doesn't love just because he thinks that'll make Sami happy.

Take note, Ben: THIS is how you demonstrate true love, not by trying to secretly inject an unwilling participant with a syringe full of experimental drugs.

Not that I approve of Lucas and Sami's plan either, but at least it doesn't involve drugging people against their will!

Anyway, the irritating thing about this whole plot is that there was a way to solve the Chloe problem without all this over-the-top nonsense.

Kristen has spent weeks convincing Chloe that Chloe is in love with Brady, only to declare herself Chloe's sworn enemy when Chloe finally gives in to her suggestions.

Meanwhile, Philip is wasting time with Gabi while pining for Chloe.

Um, hello? Kristen? You were there when Chloe turned Philip down for a date. Why not push her toward him instead of toward the guy you want her to stay away from?

Absolutely nobody seems to have thought of this oh-so-obvious idea. It's infuriating when plot holes this big are not explained, as if the writers think that soap viewers don't know how to think critically and will accept whatever nonsense is thrown their way.

Philip and Chloe only kissed during the April Fools' episode, and now this over-the-top story is a slap in Phloe shippers' faces as if the writers are taking pains to put these two with anybody but each other.

Is anyone a Philip/Gabi shipper? If you are, I'd love to know what you see in this couple because so far, it's a lot of whining and smirking about Kate and Jake.

Speaking of which, the Kate/Jake/Gabi story is going nowhere fast.

Kate keeps feeling jealous and insecure because Jake does things like not mention that he saw Gabi with Philip in the Square when he has far more consequential things on his mind.

Jake's only line when he's with Kate seems to be some variation of reassuring her he's over Gabi.

And Gabi's contribution to this nonsense is to make age-related digs at Kate, replacing her previous tendency to make digs at Abigail about Abigail's suffering from mental illness.

Gah. Make it stop.

Honestly, Jake is a lot more likable when he's counseling Ben, though advising Ben to use an experimental serum on Ciara was questionable advice.

Cin fans are unhappy with the Ciara story because it is yet another obstacle keeping these two apart. But there have been amnesia storylines before -- in fact, John referenced one while talking to Marlena on Friday's Days of Our Lives.

The issue here is how it's being done. This story does neither Ben nor Ciara any favors.

Ben is as clingy as he always was with Ciara, sitting around staring at their wedding photo while they're apart and trying to force her to remember their relationship every time he walks into the same room as her.

And Ciara's denials are not aligned with the reality that she DOES know.

Ciara's seen the wedding photo and knows she and Ben are married, yet is carrying on with Theo as if she is a single woman.

It would be one thing if she said she didn't remember her relationship with Ben and wants to move on, but she actively denies any relationship existed, and she keeps doing it at the top of her lungs!

And her response to learning that Eve bombed her wedding to Ben was to blame Ben. Not only does it again use Paige's death as a prop for a ridiculous storyline, but it doesn't make sense.

Ben's behavior isn't much better. The more she screams that he hates him, the more he insists she has to love him. Yeah, that's really going to win her over.

And because Theo is actively responding to Ciara's interest in him, he's getting a lot of hate online from Cin fans. That's not cool.

Let's get a few things clear. First of all, Ben had no right to inject Ciara with the syringe. None.

Whatever you think of Theo as a romantic partner, he did protect her from someone attacking her. Ben wanted to make Ciara fall for him again, and he did it by trying to drug her against her will.

Gabi was arrested when she did that to Jake. That's because it's assault. It's not okay that Ben wanted Ciara to remember their love story any more than it was okay that Gabi thought Jake was Stefan and that the drugs would make him remember it.

This idea that Theo should back off and tell Ciara that she belongs with Ben is ridiculous.

Ciara does not WANT to be with Ben at the moment. She believes he is a serial killer, and she despises him. She does, however, WANT to be with Theo.

Theo is not "stealing Ciara from Ben." He's respecting her wishes -- something Ben is not doing.

For me, the problem is not that. The problem is that the writers have forgotten Theo's Autism, and as an Autistic person, I don't appreciate that.

This would be a much better story if Theo's involvement in it were affected by his Autism.

If he had any signs of not fully understanding the social expectations in this situation, sensory issues, or rigid adherence to Kayla's rules about not discussing Ben, it might make this story more palatable to some Cin fans.

And it certainly would be more realistic and emotional!

Meanwhile, the Paulina/Chanel storyline went from realistic to ridiculous in the space of one episode in which Chanel announced she'd married a drunk Xander and that it was Paulina's fault for telling her she needed to support herself.

I'm not always a big fan of tough love, but Paulina could and should tell Chanel that since this is her solution, her new husband can take care of her and call her when she's ready to be an adult.

The marriage to Xander is not legal since he was too drunk to consent to it, and Chanel is acting like a functional alcoholic, so Paulina might as well treat her like one.

I'd much rather Paulina's story focus on Lani and Eli's discomfort over her attempts to "help" with the twins. That is so much more relatable and interesting than this nonsense.

I'd also like to shake some sense into Belle. This decision not to press charges against Jan for kidnapping and attempted murder was so wrongheaded. John is right -- let Jan press charges against him and see what happens.

That might work itself out anyway, with Belle poised to get arrested for Charlie's murder. I have my doubts she's guilty, though, especially considering that she went to such great lengths to get the truth out of Sami about this incident.

Trask's treatment of Rafe over this was obnoxious, too, and Rafe might rush to arrest Belle to close the case.

But even more annoying than any of that: Abigail's behavior lately.

There is no question that Abigail has every right to be furious with Gwen, but that doesn't mean that Abigail turning into Gabi 2.0 is in any way justified or enjoyable.

I never liked it when Gabi went around town whining about her misfortunes, blaming Abby for all of it, and screeching that her revenge was justified, and it's not any better a look on Abigail.

Abigail seems incredibly self-centered, insisting that Gwen threw up on her on purpose or got pregnant with Chad's baby because she knew it would hurt Abby.

This situation is a mess, and Abigail would do well to steer clear of Gwen before she ends up in Bayview or prison over it. But everything is not about her, and I can't stand the way she's behaving as if it is.

And Jack was right: it is not Abigail's place to demand that Gwen have an abortion.

Jack: You are the one who is pregnant. It's your body and your decision.
Gwen: But Abigail seems to think it's her decision.

• Permalink: But Abigail seems to think it's her decision.

In most cases, DAYS characters don't have one anyway, and I'm sure Gwen will be no exception. But Abigail is supposed to be the heroine, and ordering someone else to terminate their pregnancy is the opposite of the kind of thing heroes do.

Your turn, Days of Our Lives fanatics! Hit the big, blue SHOW COMMENTS button and let us know your thoughts.

Hungry for even more Days of Our Lives chat? Be sure to join us for our latest Days of Our Lives Round Table on Sunday.

Days of Our Lives continues to air on NBC on weekday afternoons. Check your local listings for airtimes.

Jack Ori is a senior staff writer for TV Fanatic. His debut young adult novel, Reinventing Hannah, is available on Amazon. Follow him on X.