Abraham "Abe" Simpson is Homer's fatherly and commonly just referred to as grandpa on the show. Despite being a decorate war veteran with some of the most impressive stories, Grandpa is commonly regarded as a loon and his stories considering rambling by the family.
One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere, like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..Grampa
Bart and Lisa: (Singing dull) Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs.
Grampa: Sing it like you mean it!
(Grampa plays harmonica and the kids sing it with style.)
Bart and Lisa: What kind of kids eat Armour Hot Dogs?
Bart: Fat kids.
Lisa: Skinny kids.
Bart: Kids who climb on rocks.
Lisa: Tough kids.
Bart: Sissy kids.
Milhouse: (Sticks head from the window.) Even kids with chicken pox love--
Family: Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs.
(Grampa stops playing harmonica.) The dogs kids love to bite!
Lisa: Doesn't this family know any songs that aren't commercials?
(Everyone except Lisa starts singing the "Chicken Tonight" jingle.)