Milhouse Van Houten is Bart's best friend on The Simpsons.  Milhouse is voiced by Pamela Hayden is a nerd that isn't nearly as smart as he looks.  His parents are now divroced and he's always had a crush on Lisa.

Milhouse Van Houten Quotes

How could Mrs. Krabappel take my cell phone? I'm only on month one of a sixty month plan

Milhouse

Nelson [about the school's ancient computer]: My stroked out grandfather has more memory tha that thing
Milhouse: How's he doing?
Nelson: Better, thanks

The Simpsons Quotes

(Bart shows the whole classroom the tape for his project called, "How Kittens Are Born: The Ugly Truth")
Bart: and here comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept.
All: EWW!!
Bart: We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her.
All: EWWWWW!!
Martin: Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!
Mrs. Krabappel: As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!
Bart: Oh, look! This is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in.
(The whole classroom screams)

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!