Charles Montgomery Burns, usually just known as Mr. Burns, is the owner of Springfield Nuclear Power Plant and therefore the boss of Homer. Mr. Burns is pure evil and most jokes are related to his age and his constant references to the past due to the fact the guy is over 100.
Mr. Burns: (reading Homer's letter) "Dear Mr. Burns. I'm so glad you enjoyed my son's blood, and your card was just great." Why Simpson, you've made my day, you're a true gentlemen.
Homer: Well I-
Mr. Burns: Hello, there's more. (continues reading) "In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic. You stink! You are a senile bucktoothed old mummy with bony girl arms and you smell like an elephant's butt!"
- Permalink: Dear Mr. Burns. I'm so glad you enjoyed my son's blood, and your...
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Mr. Burns: Oh, and one more thing: you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Smithers Actually sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
Mr. Burns: And the road maps, and ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent! It's all falling into place...
- Permalink: You must find the jade monkey before the next full moon. Smithe...
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You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.
Grampa
- Permalink: You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song t...
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Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!
- Permalink: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles tri...
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