Professor John I.Q. Nerdelbaum Frink, Jr. is the local Springfield super genius scientist and college professor.  Frink often makes some bizarre devices that are often used in the Treehouse of Horror specials.

Professor Frink Quotes

(Volunteers offer to help Marge and Homer with Bart's predicament in the well.)
Falcon Man: Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety! Just watch.
(The falcon is released and flies away) I don't think he's coming back.
Sea Captain: With this hook, and this hunk of chocolate, I'll land your boy. And I'll clean him for free.
Professor Frink: Although we can't reach the boy, we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen, so that future generations can rescue him.

According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is...Love?! Who's been screwing with this thing?

Professor Frink
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The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow

"Woodrow"