Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) may be the worst employee working under Leslie Knope at the Parks and Recreation department of Pawnee, Indiana, but he's also the funniest.

Tom Haverford Quotes

I used to love Tiger Woods because he was a great champion. But after that sex scandal? The man is a god.

Tom

Donna: OK, so, here's where it gets a little dicey 'cause there's not that many celebrities from Indiana. So, um, a Nascar. Uh, my friend Becky, Ron Swanson...
Leslie: Donna, who's the Jesus?
Donna: That would be Greg Kinnear.
Leslie: Do you think he's the best choice for Jesus? I mean he was great on ER.
Tom: Greg Kinnear wasn't in ER.
Leslie: Yeah he was.
Ann: I don't think that he was.
Leslie: Who am I thinking of?

Parks & Rec Quotes

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy

Ann: OK, this is one of those nanny cam teddy bears, isn't it?
Tom: What? No, it's a regular camera-less teddy bear. Just put it in your bedroom. Don't even think about it.