Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) may be the worst employee working under Leslie Knope at the Parks and Recreation department of Pawnee, Indiana, but he's also the funniest.

Tom Haverford Quotes

I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to, 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

Tom

Tom: You went on a vacation and you chose Muncie, Indiana?
Jerry: My wife and I have a timeshare.
Tom: In Muncie?!
Leslie: Tom, Muncie is a lovely city.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Ben: Newspaper headline was "Ice Town costs ice clown his town crown."
Leslie: Yuck.
Ben: They were big into rhymes.

No blood orphans. I don't know what that is.

Andy