Charming Ted
Is there anything the charming Ted Crisp can't do on Better Off Ted? Yeah, make ethically bad choices.

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Better Off Ted
Better Off Ted Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot"
Ted Crisp
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Better Off Ted Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things


Veronica: We want to weaponize a pumpkin.
Ted: Then so do I. Because?
Veronica: There's a country with whom we do business that grows a great deal of pumpkins and would welcome additional uses for them. As well as cheaper ways to kill their enemies.
Ted: Well, finally the pumpkin gets to do something besides Halloween.
Veronica: Pie.
Ted: Halloween and pie