I’m Embarrassed to Admit It, but I Fall Prey to Shipping Culture

One of the things I dislike most about TV fan culture is our obsession with romantic pairings.

And yet, here I am, fully admitting that I’m part of the problem.

It’s embarrassing to feel so deeply for fictional couples, to let a show dictate my emotional state based on whether two made-up characters do or do not end up together. But some shows have gotten to me — really gotten to me — and if you’re reading this, I bet you’ve been there, too.

What I’ve been trying to figure out is: who’s actually to blame? Is it the show itself? The way the characters are written? The actors and their chemistry? Or is it a chaotic combination of all those things, plus some invisible force that makes us lose our collective minds over fictional relationships?

Take Veronica Mars, for example. That show got me good with Veronica and Logan. Their will-they-won’t-they dynamic drove me up a wall because they were so clearly perfect for each other.

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And yet, the writers insisted on dragging things out, throwing in Piz (remember him? No? Exactly.) and making us suffer through unnecessary roadblocks.

I even donated to the Veronica Mars Kickstarter movie, hoping to see Veronica and Logan finally get their happy ending. And they did… until the Hulu revival spit in the face of the fanbase by killing Logan off in the most unnecessary, rage-inducing way possible.

I have never seen a fandom shut down so fast. That single decision effectively killed Veronica Mars, and to this day, I don’t hear people clamoring for another revival. What’s the point when Logan is dead?

Then there’s The Vampire Diaries, a show that ensured even the most devoted fans would find their allegiances tested.

While Elena was locked into the love triangle with Damon and Stefan, both brothers had their own meaningful relationships outside of that dynamic — Stefan and Caroline had something beautiful, Damon and Katherine were electric.

Personally, I was a Damon girl, and Delena (yes, I cringed typing that word) was my endgame. But if Elena had ended up with Stefan, I wouldn’t have been angry.

Every major pairing in The Vampire Diaries had something compelling to offer, and it was hard to truly hate any of them — even if we had our favorites.

Now Arrow… Arrow is where my shipping frustration reached new heights.

I wanted Oliver Queen and Laurel Lance to get their comic-book love story. Instead, the show threw Felicity Smoak into the mix, and the fandom went to war. 

And we found out that even before we even met these characters, Oliver had already torched his relationship with Laurel by sleeping with her sister. Enter Sara Lance, and things were doomed before they even began.

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Laurel was my favorite character, and the way the show treated her was atrocious. She lost her love, lost her life, and then got replaced by alternate-universe versions of herself. (More than once, if I recall correctly.)

The Arrow shipping wars were brutal. Laurel fans and Felicity fans did not mix well, and the toxicity was real.

One of the most surprising shipping battles I’ve ever witnessed came from When Calls the Heart, of all things. Who knew Hallmark fans could get so intense?

For years, we watched Elizabeth navigate a love triangle with Nathan and Lucas. I was firmly Team Lucas — probably because he was the so-called bad boy that Hope Valley didn’t immediately embrace. He was a dreamer with a good heart, and I was sold.

But just when it seemed Lucas had won Elizabeth’s heart, the new showrunner pulled the rug out from under us. Suddenly, Elizabeth declared that she only picked Lucas because he was the “safe choice.” Excuse me?

Fans lost their minds. People vowed to quit watching. (And they weren’t just bluffing — ratings dropped.) The saddest part? Lucas has barely been used since, and the magic is gone. I tapped out, and I have no regrets.

Now, my current obsession is The Way Home, which has me questioning my sanity yet again.

On paper, Kat and Elliot are the “childhood friends to lovers” dream pairing. He’s pined for her for decades, and now they’re finally getting their chance. But then Kat starts time-traveling to 1814 and meets Thomas Coyle, and suddenly there’s fire. Sparks. Chemistry.

The fandom is divided.

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Facebook groups are in chaos. Kalliot fans are defending the slow-burn best-friends-to-lovers trope, while TomKat fans (including me) are screaming that the actual sparks are with Thomas.

How did I get here?

How does a fictional relationship on television inspire such intense emotions? Why am I sitting here, passionately advocating for a ship like my personal happiness depends on it?

I hate it. And yet, I love it.

Because no matter how frustrating shipping culture can be, it’s also proof that TV still has the power to make us feel something. And for all the times I’ve sworn I wouldn’t get emotionally invested in another fictional couple, I know I absolutely will.

And when it inevitably happens, I’ll be right back here, screaming into the void.

Are you embarrassed to be a part of the shipping culture? What ‘ships have made waves in your world? Share your thoughts with me in a comment below!