This is tongue in cheek you guys, because even though we have reasons NOT to ask out every one of the following characters, if you read through to the very end, you’ll discover how unlikely that would be.
So don’t get your bouquets in a bunch!
Wait, definitely get your bouquets in a bunch and have the best Valentine’s Day ever.
Jamie Fraser – Outlander
Oh, come on. The temptation might kill us, but we’ve seen what being ripped away from this man can do, and the risk is too much. No way can we risk that pain for one day of delight.
Stefan Salvetore – The Vampire Diaries
Hot or not, human or vampire, this dude has done too much to ask with the hopes of getting a simple box of chocolates and a bouquet of roses. Too many issues.
Lucifer Morningstar – Lucifer
Here’s another guy who is hotter than hell (so hot he left the place), and word around town is he’d be the best sex we ever had. But he has mommy issues, daddy issues, Chloe issues, and frankly, is a bit of a ho.
Iris West – The Flash
No, there is nothing wrong with Iris. She’s gorgeous, intelligent and has a lot of friends. She’s also The Flash’s girlfriend. Nobody can compete with that. Any other superhero and we might stand a chance. Not The Flash.
Nick Viall – The Bachelor
Seriously. If ever there weren’t words necessary, this has to be it, right??
Jack Pearson – This Is Us
Maybe if we still had shoeboxes on our desks covered in red construction paper with white doilies and pink paper hearts so we could give Jack a little anonymous love, but let’s be real. Not only is he truly, madly, deeply in love with his wife, he’s so perfect it’s intimidating.
Lena Luthor – Supergirl
There are just too many questions, and she’s stuck with too many questionable family members. Surviving Valentine’s Day is always a top priority.
Sheila Hammond – Santa Clarita Diet
Hey, the discussion may be good and Sheila may keep you in stitches throughout the meal, but you want to be taken out to dinner, not become dinner for Valentine’s Day.
Lenny Belardo – The Young Pope
Even Lenny can’t believe we just tossed the POPE into a Valentine’s slideshow, no matter how satirical the series was. Shame on us. No inviting the Pope out for a date. Ever.
The Man in Black/William
Talk about a lot of baggage. Whether you were considering the young version or the old, we’d stay away from asking this gent out for a Valentine’s Day celebration as what he carried for over 30 years verged on the remarkable.
Carol Peletier – The Walking Dead
Hate to say it, but nothing good seems to come by way of Carol and her friendships these days. She either goes nuts or goes missing. We’re leaving well enough alone.
Lucious Lyon – Empire
What if we choose one of the years Cookie is in love with Lucious and wants him to herself? Who is going to want to deal with that? No thank you! He may be a catch (also, on some days), but it’s too risky!
Elizabeth Jennings – The Americans
This one is a total lie, because Elizabeth is a master of disguise, and with her sparkling personality and other beguiling ways, she might just sway us into asking her out without even realizing what we’re doing. There’s always at least one troubling case (or 13) in the bunch. That’s what makes slideshows so fun!
