Fighting crime and generally being a badass is no mean feat, especially when you have to juggle a regular job in-between kicking ass and taking names. It’s even harder when the individual’s regular job doesn’t take full advantage of his range of abilities.
But what if they did have jobs that matched their abilities? The possibilities would be endless. This is all hypothetical, of course, because for one reason or the other they decided to take jobs that have absolutely no correlation with their powers.
We have decided to conjure our imaginary world where everything is as it should be, and superpowered characters have jobs that match their abilities, and these are the individuals we think would benefit from a career change. Don’t forget to chip in with the names of anyone we might have overlooked and jobs you think they’ll do awesomely.
Pizza Delivery (Barry Allen) – The Flash
A lot of established facts are being challenged at the moment like how the earth isn’t round, global warming isn’t real and vaccines are evil. While others contend with such inconsequential issues, we are safe in the knowledge that it is a universally accepted fact that cold pizza sucks and that is all that matters. Imagine how much more attractive the prospect of living in Central City would be if they had the fastest man alive delivering pizzas to the masses. I bet a lot of people would jump at the chance to live in a place where your piping-hot pizza is delivered before you put down the phone. Having your brain melted in an alleyway by a metahuman seems like a reasonable risk to take for such a luxury.
Private Investigator (Kara Danvers) – Supergirl
Kara is by no means incompetent as a reporter, but she definitely wouldn’t be taking home a Pulitzer anytime soon. The advantages her Kryptonian physiology awards her could be put to much better use finding out information that would otherwise be impossible to acquire. Jon definitely got the right idea, but he doesn’t have Kara’s abilities.
Firefighter (Daenerys Targaryen) – Game of Thrones
Instead of keeping up her family’s reputation as serial arsonists and mass murderers, it’ll be quite fascinating to see the mother of dragons take up a job that is basically the antithesis of her favorite hobby. Also, she’s fireproof so that’ll come in handy. It’s kind of difficult to imagine what professional firefighters would look like in Westeros, but one thing we can be sure of is they won’t be fans of house Targaryen.
Editor (Amenadiel) – Lucifer
Being an Editor can be a pretty grueling job, not that we’d know anything about it. But I bet TV Fanatic’s own Editor-in-chief wouldn’t mind sharing Amenadiel’s ability to slow down time, especially on those long nights a lot of reviews have to be edited and published between a narrow time window. Too bad Amenadiel thought becoming a therapist was better than being the most unstressed editor on earth.
Photographer (Karolina Dean) – Marvel’s Runaways
She’ll render drone-captured aerial shots unnecessary with her ability to fly, and the same goes for camera flashes because there is no one who’d not rather have Karolina light them up with her dazzling bio-luminescent powers.
History Teacher (Klaus Mikaelson) – TVD Universe
Niklaus and his family have been at the center of a lot of important historical events, while also being the cause of a few of those along the way. In the modern day, Klaus paints in his downtime and is clearly wealthy enough to not require a regular job. Still, you can’t help but feel like Klaus’ first-hand knowledge of historical events (mostly the violent ones) was wasted when he died without passing the knowledge on to another generation.
Life Guard or Swim Instructor (Ryn Fisher) – Siren
As Ryn becomes more absorbed in human society, she is going to have to take up more human activities to maintain her cover. With her being a mermaid and all, the water is her domain and she’d kill it as a lifeguard or swim instructor. The only caveat is restricting the swim lessons to swimming pools or lakes because she so much as dips a toe in salt water and she’ll be eating her clients the next minute.
Therapist (Tandy Bowen) – Marvel’s Cloak and Dagger
Tandy’s superpowers include her being able to look into someone’s mind and experience their greatest hopes and dreams. Sure, it might be a huge breach of one’s privacy, but as a therapist with such abilities, she could help so many people with her abilities.
Home Movers (Jessica Jones) – Jessica Jones
Jessica isn’t Hulk-level strong, but she is far stronger than the average human, which puts her in that sweet spot where she’d be perfect working as a home mover. She’d piss off all her co-workers and probably show up to work drunk every morning, but she’ll also help take the heavier lifting off their hands. Which means less back pain when they’re 60 and retired.
Welding (Marcos Diaz) – The Gift
After acquiring the skills, the most difficult part of setting up your self as a welder is acquiring the necessary equipment. That wouldn’t be a problem for Marcos because he has all he needs to become a decent welder. He can shoot light beams out of his hands with extreme precision and regulate how hot he wants it.
Librarian (Macy Vaughn) – Charmed 2018
Apparently, a lot of people in the world are killed or maimed as a result of ladder-related accidents and ladders are basically where librarians spend half their time. Other than the risks, It’d be safe to assume that it can be a bit tiring to keep dragging a ladder around the library shelving books and whatnot. This is where Macy would shine as a telekinetic witch. She could do all her work while kicking back on a recliner with a book in one hand, and a cocktail in the other.
Demolitions expert (Reed Strucker) – The Gift
There is a chance his powers could kill him if he continues to use them, but in the off chance that he doesn’t die then his abilities could be quite handy in demolition work. He only needs to pick the right spot to disintegrate and a structure comes crashing down. It’ll leave very little in the way of a carbon footprint on the environment and global extinction is delayed for a tiny bit longer.
Paramedic (Max Evans) – Roswell, New Mexico
Max has the ability to heal and possibly resurrect people from the dead. What better way to put those skills to use than working as a first responder?
